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Song Parodies -> "Moses"

Original Song Title:

"Focus"

Original Performer:

Ariana Grande

Parody Song Title:

"Moses"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. In which I retell the Biblical story of Noah! Wait...
He-ey

Raised as an Egyptian dude, but one day that all changed
Some peasant told me that was wrong, way too much sense she made
Long time ago, the old Pharaoh tried to kill the male Hebrew kids, ain't right
Would've included me, but Mum took a risk for her babe
She wove a basket ou-out of reeds and then po-ow
She took her infant son and placed him right down
Set him adrift upon the Nile and then pra-ayed
That he, I mean, I would be well and sa-afe (ooh-ooh)

Moses, that's me
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh)
Moses, that's me
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh)
Moses, that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh)
Moses, that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh)

Guess I was adopted, then, but what to do with this?
Obviously, kill a guard treatin' a slave like shit, du-u-u-u-uh
Runnin' away after I did that (mmm-ah-ah), farewell my brother, you grumpy prat
The empty desert's callin', bud, cause I can't dea-eal with thi-is, yeah-eah-eah-eah-yeah-ee
For the next few years, I-I've been sett-l-in' do-own (ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah-ee)
Tendin' to sheep with my wife Zipporah now (I'm a real shepherd right now)
But there's this bush that's both in and not in fla-ames (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And now it's speakin', it's callin' my na-ame (ooh-ooh)

Moses, that's me (hey)
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh, see-ee)
Moses, that's me (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh)
Moses, that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh) (oh-oh-oh-oh, buddy-y-y)
Moses, that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e-e, ma-ate) (ooh-ooh)
1, 2, 3 and more plagues

Uh, hey
Know you won't like it
Hey, please let my people go no-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow
Moses, that's me
Come o-on no-ow, no-ow
Moses, that's me
Ho-oh-oh-oh-oh, ho-oh yeah-ee

Your first-born males are no-ow six feet undergrou-ound (God snuffed their li-ights)
This moral vict'ry's a bit strenuous now (oh, it's a bit awkward no-o-o-o-o-ow)
But once I've split the whole damn Red Sea in twai-ain (right in twai-ain, twai-ee-ain)
Sure that it will be nothin' but good da-ays no-o-o-ow

Moses, that's me (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah, whoo-ooh, hey)
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh) (good times from here on out for Moses, that's me-e)
Moses, that's me (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah)
M-M-Moses, tha-at's me-e (ooh-ooh)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me (Mo-oses) (oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah-eah)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh) (yeah-eah)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me (Mo-oses) (that's a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-all, yeah-ee)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh) (whoa-oh)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me
M-M-Moses, that's me-e (ooh-ooh)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, hey)
M-M-Moses, that's me (ooh-ooh) (oh-oh-oh, yeah-eah)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e) (ooh-ooh)
Moses (hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah), that's me (Mo-oses)
M-M-Moses, that's me (Mo-oses, that's me-e-e, ma-ate)

Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. But Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses as Moses supposes his toeses to be!

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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A classic joke - June 08, 2017 - Report this comment
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!"

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