Song Parodies -> Divination's Barmy

Original Song Title:

"Seven Nation Army"

Original Performer:

White Stripes

  
Parody Song Title:

"Divination's Barmy"

Parody Written by:

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni)

A tale of a skeptic going to one of those old divination hags and being cooked for a
McDonalds burger by the evil witch.
'Don't want foresight' I scoff.
Cuz divination's barmy, should be scalded black.
They wanna rip us off.
Taking our dimes like fiends, while I lack.

Cuz I'm forking out five bucks per 'sight',
A pause, a panting breath...
Hag says 'Your future bites,
Soon rinds are nearing death.'

Was this message mumbled genuine,
Or heathen shit, dung?
Won't give the details of it.
Shoved her single bucks for the moral to help.
Turn up your nose and scorn it?
But she'd seen predictions in her pounds of pelt!

And she'd light matches, mumbling 'Mac your day,
Try the new service, it's cool'
I did faint, getting an idea,
That this was brainwash school.

Now she's peeling skin ala Brattones,
Says 'Fine and toned.'
Bile spewing in her witch hat,
She pours these cup-fuls into the store.

She's gonna bake me raw.
Make my sweat drip out for seasoned aroma.
And I'm flavouring, and I'm savouring, as I'm baking,
White skin is now charred.
All the kids are gonna greedily eat my grilled limbs,
Oh horror!
As my brains' bubbling frothy bloops
Sell me as McTones.
PS. Dedicated to my cyber-fiancee EmiLoca. *fawn-in-a-more-sexual-way-than-I-did-with-GuyDiRito*
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Voting Results
Pacing: 5.0
 
How Funny: 5.0
 
Overall Rating: 5.0
 

Total Votes: 2
Voting Breakdown

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User Comments Follow...

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EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
How do you come up with such topics? Strange, but all the same, it made me snicker. I was going to give you 5-5-4, but then I saw that smarmy comment at the bottom. It creeped me out just enough to boost you up a point.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
The comment referrs to the Guy DiRito comment at the end of 'I'm Pleading Jot A Comment'. And what's so strange about a random old fortune-telling hag cooking a dude into a McDonald's burger? Mmm, 'smarmy'. Close behind 'facetious' and 'tanty''. Oh look, 'facetious' has all the vowels in order! Freeeaky!
john ulvang - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Priceless!555

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