See that Big Blue Smurf
bellied up to the counter?
You wanna know what it's eating now?
That's a whole quarter-pounder.
But don't try stoppin' the little elf,
better wait "til.....he's done.

Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw - he ain't gonna throw it away,
'cause tonight, he might eat it.
He gets real hungry around midnight most times,
an' he'll have to re-heat it.
Besides, he'll need a shake to wash those fries down,
he'll be eating that......'til dawn.

There's a time Smurfberries're all he ever hungered.
The only thing that he'd ever eat.
I come home to find, just like that, he ate my danish
an' the only thing left in sight to see:

Is that big, blue Smurf
feedin' on pita pockets.
Yeah, don't scoff, it's got two mouths;
don't dare mock it.
Some days I have to restock the fridge twice,
just to keep up with how much.... he's grown.

You know, his physician said:
"What'd you suppose he sees,
when he looks down at his toes
and his, uh, blue, smurfy feet?"
You know, I guessed if at all;
All he could look at was his big, blue gutssss.

He eats all the time, his hunger is undaunted.
All the meals that he overfeeds.
I come to realize, he's just lazy, fat and famished.
An' now there's somethin' stuck between his teeth.

There's stuff on his chin an'
overlapping belly.
And his smurfy, little belt buckle,
that just broke free.
'An he's gonna eat up a few more donuts.
Just wish he'd stop mooning me:
You betcha,.... that's wrong.

I'm leaving.
Goodbye, buddy.