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Song Parodies -> "Trolleys In My Park"

Original Song Title:

"Morning After Dark"

Original Performer:

Timbaland ft. Nelly Furtado and SoShy

Parody Song Title:

"Trolleys In My Park"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Here's a driving-related annoyance that I've always wanted to write a parody about: morons leaving their shopping trolleys (or shopping carts for Americans) all over the sodding car park instead of in the trolley bays ( or the cart return I think it's called for you lot). Enjoy!
No, just no

Ev'ryone knows that when they roll up
To the parkin' lot, problems abou-ound
From findin' parks, that's obvious
To slow-ass shoppers millin' arou-ound
Some folks don't know 'bout the speed limit
Swear they clock out at eighty-eight mi-iles
But the prob I wanna bring up
Not sure that you've heard abou-out
I'm not a mind reader, dude
Don't post on parkin' forums, ri-ight
But I'm hopin' ev'ryone knows
'Bout this crap, makes me tear hair ou-out
Any parkin' lot you may go
There's shoppin' trolleys arou-ound
But not where they're s'pposed to go
Just littered about

Shoppin' carts are in my park and that's just lame, yeah
Thanks to lazy bastards
Left trolleys here in ev'rybody's way, yeah
Friggin' thoughtless bastards
Gettin' mad at all these prats who wreck my day, yeah
Lazy friggin' bastards
But I just fear this habit's gonna stay, yeah
Leavin' trolleys in my park

Ow-ow
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ow-ow
I'll tell you why

First consequence I'll reveal to ya:
Those trolleys hog half the parks, ri-ight
It sucks gettin' put through the wringer
Havin' all those parks deni-ied
Get hidden by big pickups
My ire ain't just one-track, mi-ind
Cause when there's a decent gust
Of wind, just watch those trolleys fly-y
Even though they're all empty
The damage will be done
Whether your brand-new Bentley
Or smack-dab in your lungs
Even when not lit'rally
In the park, but to the side
It looks unfathomably tacky
Ugly to my eyes

Shoppin' carts take up the park and all its space, yeah
Ev'rybody, stop it
And only two feet from the trolley bays, yeah
All you morons, stop it
Are you that lazy? I can't think what to say, yeah
Well, except for "stop it"
On ev'ry single nerve of mine, it grates, yeah
Don't leave trolleys in the park

Eh
Eh-eh
Eh-eh
Dammit, dammit, dammit, man, don't tell me

"I've got kids in the car, bud
I just can't leave them alo-one"
It takes, like, two minutes, man
Kids can do it if they're gro-own
"I physic'lly can't walk that far"
Have to call "bullshit", you kno-ow
If you really can't push that cart
Ask the employees, nicely thou-ough
"There, I'm keepin' those kids employed, I'm not a lazy bum"
No, they're paid to take carts from the trolley bays, thus you're dumb
"Bays? My cart's five steps beside it
I'm not gonna u-use it" Wo-ow
Are you really that entitled?
Hang on, facepalmin' no-ow

Are you that much of a prat? What can I say, yeah
I'm so close to madness
When will it stop? I see it ev'ryday, yeah
Fills me up with sadness
It ain't that hard to put that cart in the bay, yeah
Stop bein' so callous
It's not "efficiency" at all, it's lame, yeah
Leavin' trolleys in my park
Carts, carts, carts, carts, carts, might be dang'rous after dark
Carts, carts, carts, carts, carts, on your car, might leave a mark
Please don't be a jerk, don't leave trolleys in my park
Nobody deserves random trolleys in their park

Don't be such a berk

I'm so damn sick of these damn carts in my way

If you can't stop doin' that, then there's a way, way, way
Order your crap online, away you'll stay, st-st-st-stay, st-stay
"You do that"? Well, I'd be happy to, okay, 'kay-'kay, 'kay
But other folks still real-shop ev'ryday, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day

I know I tend to leave out the featured artists in the "Original Performer Name" line for simplicity's sake, but seeing as Timbaland tends to take a backseat to the guest spots in his songs, I feel that it's unfair to leave them out.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
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 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Matthias - June 08, 2015 - Report this comment
I have to admit that this is a big pain in the neck of mine as well. Well done getting your anger out about something that really hits home.
Jeff Reuben - June 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Yup, we have this problem in the states as well. Original clever idea.
Max Power - June 30, 2015 - Report this comment
I know, you can see them in the middle of the parking lot at Pathmark and Costco. Good way to cause accidents.
Blaydeman - June 30, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Supremely original and hilarious! I could feel the personal passion behind this and I totally agree with your sentiments. This is annoying as hell! You did an awesome job stretching this topic o it;s fullest potential in a very difficult OS! Highest marks from me, man! Awesome job! 555
Agrimorfee - June 30, 2015 - Report this comment
One of the quirks that you have is taking on a totally mundane topic and stretching it's humor limit onto a parody.This time, the stretch wasn't too bad at all. Good job.
Abbott Skelding - June 30, 2015 - Report this comment
I work at a grocery store and it is mighty inconvenient...luckily, it isn't my job to wrangle the carts. I always (ALWAYS) put my cart back in the bays...nicely done.

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