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Song Parodies -> "Candy Rots Your Teeth"

Original Song Title:

"You Belong To Me"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Candy Rots Your Teeth"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

If you guys had parents like mine then you can totally relate. If you didn't have parents like mine then I'm jealous and your teeth are probably terrible!
You're coming home with a pillowcase full of snacks
You'll hear me scoff as you empty those huge sacks
"Call the dentist, Too much sugar
In that food"

You kids zoom from house to house the whole night
Ditch your costumes as you get sweaty on your hike
Don't matter just want candy
No damn fruit!

You'll munch on Kit Kats then on Mars Bars
Gulp Butterfingers and swallow Life Savers
This is your Pay Day and then you'll Take 5
Grab that Hershey's Smores and go then take a bite

I'll you'll bleat "But dad! You cannot take all my junk food!"
"Give me my Ding Dongs or you'll hear me scream!"
Kid, You'll rot your teeth
It'll rot your teeth

Those Trick Or Treats tear your gums to smithereens
I hear you shriekin' as I trade out Nerds for Peas
Sneakin' me some Sweetarts from your stash
It rocks being daddy...

Cause I know your smile would be ruined if you found
Where I'm hiding your bag child since you would choke down
These Red Vines, M&Ms and Milk Duds
But now you'll just have to bug all your buds

You've popped some Skittles, Snacked on Snickers
Candy Buttons that tasted like paper
Stale candy canes and you chomped Almond Joys
Munched on Mallo Cups, Your molars have been destroyed

Each Halloween you make me do this thing that torments you
Swappin' lollipops for some cottage cheese
It'll Rot Your Teeth!

In your costume you'd be an overweight Thor
If you dined on all these Rolos
Charlie... You'll get cavities
Candy rots your teeth!

Oh... I remember back when I was a kid I would bitch and I would fight
As my mother took my stash and would shove it way up high
I hated Butterscotch but even that would be a treat
In my pockets I hid a bunch... You can't take all my sweets!

Have one piece cause you can't binge on all this snack food
Till I turn my back and you'll try to sneak
Candy rots your teeth

Jolly Ranchers and giant Jawbreakers
Swedish fish, Gummi Bears, Chewing Gum and Spree
It has rot your teeth
You've got rotten teeth

Lots of cavities
And now the dentist takes my money
Candy rots your teeth
It will rot your teeth

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   2

User Comments

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Abbott Skelding - November 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Really funny stuff here. Luckily I had the "cool" parents who let us eat whatever we wanted. My only problem with this was that the pacing was no where near as tight as I expect from you.That could use some sprucing up, but other than that, nice work!
Jonathan - November 01, 2013 - Report this comment
^ agreed the pacing wasn't perfect but oh well this still a sweet parody! 455
Peter Andersson - November 02, 2013 - Report this comment
Unfortunatelly I know more than half of those brand names so I figure it was written in a post Halloween sugar high semi-coma of sorts! ;-)

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