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Song Parodies -> "New Glasses"

Original Song Title:

"Chop Suey!"

Original Performer:

System of a Down

Parody Song Title:

"New Glasses"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Sometimes it sucks not being able to see...
Eye strain
When I look I start to get a migraine
They would never let me fly a biplane
It's getting that I can't read these can labels
When driving I almost hit that stable!

Not in my view!
My eyeballs are now the source of my pain
Not in my view!
It's not safe to even leave my driveway
Not in my view!
Way too much time being glued to cable
Not in my view!

Vision is a bust
I... sigh... You all call me four-eyes
It... bites... I need glasses now for SIGHT!!!


Getting really sick of all of my falls
Mr. Magoo and me are just (Mr. Magoo and me are just)
Cooing at a plant put in a cradle

We think that it's human not a Maple

Not in my view!
Getting glasses that I found at Skymall
Not in my view!
When playing I can't even see that fly ball
Not in my view!
Blindness through fapping's maybe not a fable
Not in my view!

Optics bit the dust
Not... right... Still can't see in bright light
My... plight... Run into poles on a stride
Eyes... fried... When I squint to see my bride
No... pride... It's even worse when it's night

Doctor! (Doctor!)
Proctor! (Proctor!)
Watchers! (Watchers!)
Awkward! (Awkward!)
That Coke bottle lens helps me to stop falling
Copper: Eyeglass frames!

Getting stinkin' hard to see
My perception is crappy
That's why I am so clumsy!
It's not safe to drive a... Jeep!

Damn my eyes!
Both my retinas have died
Half... blind... When walking I slip and slide
Must... buy... New glasses cause I lied
Not... fine... My peepers are red and dry

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - January 05, 2014 - Report this comment
No, damn YOUR eyes, pal! (JK). Who is 1-bombing you? 555
Max Power - January 05, 2014 - Report this comment
I wonder the same thing, it's been going on for a while, it's ridiculous.
Max Power - July 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Lasik surgery can be lifesaving...until someone screws up.
bobpiecheese - July 26, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Hilarious stuff here! Coupla pacing errors in the verses, but at that speed I don't really blame you. 555 forehead bumps!
Greg - July 27, 2016 - Report this comment
I can clearly give you 5s for this.
Blaydeman - July 30, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I think it's clear that some people don't know what they're talking about. Who could Uno-bomb this? This OS has a really tricky structure to it and I think you maneuvered through it pretty masterfully, with the exception of a few pacing snags. I really dug this, and there were some really funny lines in here. Good work, Matty!
Abbott Skelding - July 31, 2016 - Report this comment
I agree with the few noticeable pacing issues, but I literally laughed out loud at the "Blindness through fapping's maybe not a fable"...mostly because it's hilarious, but also because I just wasn't expecting it from you. Well done!

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