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Song Parodies -> "Chick Flick"

Original Song Title:

"Love Song"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sara Bareilles

Parody Song Title:

"Chick Flick"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

I’m fine with horror
Though I can’t sleep
And get nightmares for awhile
When teens get slaughtered
I get so grossed out

Play comedies
“Airplane!” is funny
I’m a big Neilson fan
Or play “Caddyshack” it makes me laugh too

Pull hair, It’s outrageous
When I’m on dates it is shit
It’s my Hell watching “Princess Diaries”

I’m not going to watch your damn chick flick
While we’re swapping spit
It is no fun!
Or “Glee”, I’m not going to watch that TV pick
But you’ll throw a fit so I am stuck with this
Though it hurts my brain
You know it drives me insane
Don’t want to see you weeping
And so that’s why I am sleeping
While you watch your chick flick
“Twilight”
Tonight, Yeah

I’ll buy you bouquets
Valentine’s Day
Don’t want you to sneer
This cardboard heart is full of chocolate
But I will flip the bird
Don’t be absurd
That flop "Notebook” will not occur
It makes me burn my eyes

“Titanic” appeased you
While I drink a whole ton of booze
A whole box of tissues needed for this crap

I’m not going to watch your damn chick flick
Cause you Netflixed it
That won’t happen
Not me, I cannot stomach those chick flicks
When two lovers kiss, I must cuss and hiss
Cause it’s far too lame
That’s why I’m full of dismay
The film’s got me dry heavin’
I swear this is high treason
I won’t watch those chick flicks, No way!

“Love Story”
Replaced “Terminator”
It’s so cutesy
I need some Darth Vader
I’m so aggrieved
I can’t take
Anymore, Please
Destroy the tape!

Oh! I’ll watch your chick flick
If you flash your t*ts
Before it’s on
Baby, Go turn on “Terms of Endearment”
If you promise this always ends in sex
In that case I’ll turn on your chick flick
Though my teeth are grit
This is torture
I’m peeved, I’m not going to enjoy this chick flick
I would call it quits but there’s bedroom glitz
I can’t run away
At these times I wish I was gay
I know guys can’t stand this bullshit
But it’s in the dating booklet
That’s why straight life is no breeze
We’re stuck watching “Dirty Dancing”
Men can’t stand these chick flicks
No way…
No way!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   11
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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 24, 2011 - Report this comment
Matthias - You are so right! Testosterone-draining chick flicks should come with health warning labels. Good job. ;D
AFW - February 24, 2011 - Report this comment
I certainly, second your emotion here, about the Chick Flicks...prefer chick flex, instead...but, as you capably, express...sometimes, it can be a neccesary evil.
Mark Scotti - February 24, 2011 - Report this comment
You're right, Matthias! Bring on the comedies and horror...
Below Average Dave - February 24, 2011 - Report this comment
Aw, c'mon, chick flicks aren't so bad. . .well unless you are talking about the movie French Kiss--that was pretty bad. . .
Wendy Christopher - May 26, 2011 - Report this comment
Love it, love it, love it! I may be a 'chick' myself (well....okay, more of a hen than a chick if I'm honest...!) but I'm not really into the chick flicks either. So 555 and amen and hallelujah for this parody.
Porfle Popnecker - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the time I watched "Tara Road" and lapsed into a coma for five years.
Abbott Skelding - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
-standing ovation- This may be the greatest Matthias parody I've read. Excellent work here, I love everything about it!
Mark Scotti - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Ahhh a double feature(I get to read this again), and it was just as enjoyable as the first(a sign od a GREAT movie...LOL)
Rebekah Dub - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
May you live a life free of chick flicks. I enjoyed this piece (as well as the occasional chick flick). 5's. =)
Agrimorfee - March 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Some great lines, particularly This cardboard heart has chocolate, Titanic appeased you..., and ...if you flash your txxs!*
bobpiecheese - March 27, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) The closest I'll get to enjoying a chick flick is The Wedding Singer. Or watching the Nostalgia Chick review them. Whatever. Great parody here, TMGLTM, 555!
Blaydeman - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Personally, I really like chick flicks. I agree that they aren't the best movies ever, but I enjoy them a lot. Even though I disagree with you on the premise of this parody. I still thought it was great! Awesome job Matty! 555 comedy and horror movies for you.
D-Mon - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) I don't mind chick flicks (as long as a chick is present), so I thought this was hilarious! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny!
Meriadoc - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment
"Love Story"? Are you dating 50 year olds? ;) Liked the dating booklet line.
brightCAP - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
My favorite line is "Or 'Glee,' I’m not going to watch that TV pick"

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