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Song Parodies -> "Samsons' Delilah"

Original Song Title:

"Hey There Delilah"

Original Performer:

Plain White T's

Parody Song Title:

"Samsons' Delilah"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "United State of Pop" self-challenge. A retelling of a classic Biblical story and basically the origin of the femme fatale. "Philistine" rhymes with "pristine", BTW. Enjoy!
Hey there, Delilah
I know I look like a hippy
Nazarites just roll that way
I'm Samson and I think you're pretty
That is true
Kill lions with my hands for you
That I can do

Also, Delilah
With that strength I have killed a thousand
Philistines, you won't believe me
I killed them with just the jawbone
Of an ass
But whatever, all that's in the past
Cause you're here, lass

Oh, the Lord has granted me-e-e
Oh, the strength to do such feats
Oh, but what matters to me-e-e
Oh, is what you think of me
Have you love for me?

Hey there, Delilah
You've been asking quite a lot
About the source of my raw strength
And if and how it can be stopped
Not telling, please
But accept my apologies
I've been a tease

It's true, Delilah
Been messing with you for days
New bowstrings, ropes, hair woven in a loom
Or hair put in a braid
Not true at all
I know I'm in love with you and all
Still no tell-all

Oh, stop with your whining plea-ea-ease
Oh, begging and nagging me
Oh, fine, here's the trick to me-e-e
Oh, cut my hair and I'm weak

Revealing secrets ain't as hard
As I thought, makes me a dumbarse
I think I'll take a nap, hope that's okay
The Philistines are coming up?
I'll kick their asses, simple stuff
Wait, it seems that my head has lost some weight
Delilah, I know I teased you
But selling me out isn't cool
You say you never loved me anyway?
No words to sa-a-a-ay

Hey there, Delilah
I'm aware that you can't hear me
Grinding grain until my hair grew back
Both eyes were gouged out of me, yes, it's true
Stuck here in jail because of you
All the Philistines, they jeer and boo
Up yours, Delilah, now I'm screwed
All cause of you

Oh, Lord, can you hear me spea-ea-eak?
Oh, grant some revenge to me
Oh, give me enough strength, plea-ea-ease
Oh, push these pillars with ease
On the Philistines
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh

Did you know that Samson had a wife before Delilah, who was a Philistine? The Philstines killed her because Samson was wrecking their crops and tying torches to foxes' tails. He was doing that because his father-in-law gave his wife away to another woman. Because of some shenanigans involving a riddle and 30 young men who threatened to burn Samson's wife's house down if she didn't weasel the riddle's answer out of him. But I guess all that's less interesting than seduction, eye-gouging and death by donkey jaw.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - September 19, 2014 - Report this comment
This is good storytelling, but you didn't finish it with the Philistine temple of Dagon and Samson bringing down the house- literally! His hair had grown back and he killed 3-6000 that day including himself. As for his preferences with women, yeah, he liked Philistine women. Not only did he have a previpus wife, but he also slept with at least one Philistine prostitute in Gaza! I hope people will read Judges 14-16 if inspired by your parody.
Jonathan - September 19, 2014 - Report this comment
my my my Delilah why? why? why? Delilah? 5's

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