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Song Parodies -> "Hey, Learner Driver"

Original Song Title:

"Hey There Delilah"

Original Performer:

Plain White Ts

Parody Song Title:

"Hey, Learner Driver"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

A situation probably everybody's come across at least once...
Hey, learner driver
Whatcha doin' in New York City?
I can see you in my rear-view
And I'm sure you're gonna hit me
Up the ass...
Times Square's a bogus place to crash
Ease off the gas...

Hey, learner driver
Car propulsion is a science
Your instuctor's getting twitchy
So you might not get your license
I'd advise...
That when changing gears, don't close your eyes:
It scares most guys...

Oh, keep both hands on the wheel
Oh, when turning left don't squeal
Oh, that lamp-post's made of steel
Oh, your poor automobile
Poor automobile...

Hey, learner driver
A suggestion I might make
Is when a traffic light turns red
Try putting your foot on the brake
Give folks a chance...
It's wrong to squash pedestri-ans;
We're not in France...

Hey, learner driver
What did that last road sign say?
It might have been something like "BRIDGE OUT!"
I didn't see...
Coz I had my head between my knees
Don't kill me please!

Oh, don't overtake police
Oh, don't race low-flying geese
Oh, don't care that you're my neice
Oh, I'll have to say "let's cease"
Or Rest In Peace...

A hundred lessons seems a lot
They paid less for the first moon-shot
(Buzz Aldrin never U-turned on freeways)
Your left turn signal wasn't right
Coz you turned right, left me in fright
I'm taking much more Valium these days
I don't know what to say to you;
It's clear you haven't got a clue
Your future travel options I'll explain:
Cab, bus or train...

Hey, learner driver
It's a miracle you missed me
You were checking your make-up;
I was one foot from being history
I leapt back...
As you ploughed through Radio Shack
You'd be better on a NASCAR track
Or driving tanks across Iraq
(Hey, don't come back!)

Oh, I called the DMV
Oh, because you hit a tree
Oh, reversed into the sea
Oh, It wasn't meant to be
I'll call a taxi...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

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alvin - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
too funny...especially liked the squashing pedestrians bit
Jack Wilson - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
This is FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5s
Rex - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
She scared you so bad you misspelled niece. Once again a brilliant bit o' work - if you keep this up, I'm going to run out of superlatives and will have to start making up words like "tremendariffic".
Matthias - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I recall those days... And sadly enough my sister is going through those days now. But I gotta quit writing, because she's crashing straight through my living room, and I'm about to get........ SQUEAL!!! HONK!!! CRASH!!!!
Stan Hall - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Every line's a gem, Kristof, and many sooo relatable-to. Happily for me, the terrors of teaching my kids to drive is now further in the past than is their time to teach their own in the future. :-)
Re "You were checking your make-up; ..." -- A routine sight during my commutes is way-past-learner level lady drivers messin with mascara. The topper, tho', was one pulled up beside at a stoplight one summer morning who was plying her 'pits with a cordless Lady Shick. :-)
Jonathan S. - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't know what it is, but nearly all the parodies of yours I've read so far have crame up; this is no exception. Chalk up another piece of British Brilliance. 556
Jonath--woops! - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops, that was supposed to read "cracked me up." I guess I'm concentrating about as much as the driver in your spoof.
Jason - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Great effort. I echo everyone else's comments.
deLilahCakes - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Kristof, this is delightful and so charming! You are truly the ~Jolliest of Scottish Knights~, Sir.

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