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Song Parodies -> "Hilton Cried (Shirley Temple's Rant)"

Original Song Title:

"Stars Are Blind"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paris Hilton

Parody Song Title:

"Hilton Cried (Shirley Temple's Rant)"

Parody Written by:

LPG-Unit

The Lyrics

After consulting her IMDB profile and realizing that most people hadn't seen or heard of her since 1961, former child star Shirley Temple Black decided that the hippest, most happening thing she could do was hate Paris Hilton. Now LPG-Unit releases this rather sarcastic parody of "Stars Are Blind", as sung by the former curly-topped child star. Tthis song is set in 1930s Hollywood, when Shirley's career started, and in the presnt time, in which she's 78 years old...
[Verse I - Shirley]
If I, turn old
My curlies ain't gold
Dimples then turn to lumps
Then, she thinks she'll rule the world
It's just a lame old dream
Net surfers all wanna give her 1, not 5
And when they flame her, I laugh really loud
Some critics never get beyond their biased mind
Oh, even teeners do not realize
And I wrote this rant, oh no, ohh

[Chorus - Shirley]
And now that I'm a real old lady
And I wish that Hilton cried
Grab a gun and we'll hunt, baby
You can't just hide

TV stations play that video
I hope she's banned from MTV
Got gome guns and mercenaries
Let's see what this dork can do
Baby I'm hunting at you

My love, ohh oh

[Verse II - Shirley]
I could be your headbutt victim
Just one of my gimmicks
And I know that crap's what you do
And I wish that your reign ends
Why shouldn't music filled with ones we really love?
It's decades that I have been waiting for
Want songs of her? No way!!

[Chorus - Shirley]
And now that I'm a real old lady
And I wish that Hilton cried
Grab a gun and we'll hunt, baby
You can't just hide

TV stations play that video
I hope she's banned from MTV
Got gome guns and mercenaries
Let's see what this dork can do
Baby I'm hunting at you

[Bridge]
Excuse me for hunting
For hoping I'd blow your head
Maybe I'm crazy
You won't get out of here
Oh no, no, no

[Chorus - Shirley]
And now that I'm a real old lady
And I wish that Hilton cried
Grab a gun and we'll hunt, baby
You can't just hide

TV stations play that video
I hope she's banned from MTV
Got gome guns and mercenaries
Let's see what this dork can do
Let's see what this dork can do

Baby I'm hunting at you

Baby I'm hunting at you

Baby I'm hunting at you

And now that I'm a real old lady
And I wish that Hilton cried (2x)
Watch out for the MP3 and music video of it, the video will be from Shirley's "Baby Burlesks" movie...

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   2
 2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - September 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Shirley Temple may have a point. If you ever saw her movies she made when she was older you will note she had class that Paris lacks.
LPG-Unit - September 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, dude, I laughed when I've heard of Shirley Temple hating that no-talented Paris. = )
still wondering - September 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I still would like to know why the album cover of "Abbey Road" by the Beatles appears in the right sidebar. It doesn't make any sense, since this is not a parody of a Beatles song.
wondering 2 - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I've been wondering about that too! I notice that on a lot of paroides they have the album covers for the wrong performer. What gives?
LPG-Unit - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
this is because Paris isn't really much of an AmIRight victim yet, and she only released a single album so far...
whistlecat - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Maybe she likes the Beatles Abbey Road album.
wondering 2 - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
They should still not put the album covers for some other artist on here. Either there should be album covers for the artist who was the performer of the original song, like most everywhere else...or no album covers at all.
Agrimorfee - September 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I think the album images are selected by Google or some other randomizer, based on keywords on your page. Goodness knows why the Beatles show up--maybe it defaulted to it because nothing matched? ChuckyG would know exactly what goes on with it.
still wondering - May 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee, I suppose that makes sense in some regard. I'd like to know how it all works, so that I'm not confused in the future by this. I'll ask Chuck about it at some point.
LPG-Unit - June 03, 2007 - Report this comment
It depends on the artist; some may have the privilege to have their album when someone else makes a parody of his/her songs...
john jacob - January 07, 2011 - Report this comment
man..... f*** shirley temple.. i would eat her fat 80 yr old pussy... muff dive the s*** outta that poonani

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