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Song Parodies -> "Dead Kittens"

Original Song Title:

"Unwritten"

Original Performer:

Natasha Bedingfield

Parody Song Title:

"Dead Kittens"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Hey guys, what's happening? Been a LONG time since I submitted anything, this is an old idea that I fleshed out a bit. It's re-"pet"-itive on purpose. Youtube link: Unwritten
~intro~

I love dead kittens
Cuddly and quiet
[With] no feeding time!

Who needs the living?
That's always a drag
[Cat's] out of the bag!...

Standing like matched statues before me
And they make no dirty litter
Pets they are so super great -
- (the ones that are out of lives...)

Move them - they offer no resistance
And my words are seldom wasted
Extremely self-sufficient!

Feel no claws in my skin
No one has to feed them for me
Never have to let them in
The best pets-
- don't need vets!
They barely shed and don't... hiss
No tuna breath that is fumin'
My neighbor's dog can't exhume 'em
And they is -
- so kind to the kids!..
That's why I love dead kittens!
Yeah!

*Meow meow*

I named one "Mittens"
And though he's cold
He never grows old. . . . .

The other's "Vixen"
Though she's not alive
She finds places to hide....

Staring, with their "fixed" faces, at me
And they make no dirty litter
Pets they are so super great -
- (the ones that are out of lives...)

Love them - they offer no resistance
And my words are never wasted
Extremely self-sufficient!

Feel no claws in my skin
No one has to feed them for me
Never have to let them in
The best pets-
- don't need vets!
They barely shed and don't... hiss
Never bite me when I stroke 'em
Always perfect when I hold 'em
And they is -
- so kind to the kids!..
That's why I love dead kittens!

oooh, oooh

Staring, with their "fixed" faces, at me
And they make no dirty litter
Pets they are so super great -
- (the ones that are out of lives...)

Move them - they offer no resistance
And my words are seldom wasted
Extremely self-sufficient!.....................

Feel no claws in my skin
No one has to feed them for me
Never have to let them in
The best pets-
- don't need vets!
They barely shed and don't... hiss
No tuna breath that is fumin'
My neighbor's dog can't exhume 'em
And they is -
- so kind to the kids!..

Feel no claws in my skin
No one has to feed them for me
Never have to let them in
The best pets-
- don't need vets!
They barely shed and don't... hiss
No "fur"niture that is shredded
Love to watch the "Walking Dead" an'
And they is -
- so kind to the kids!..
That's why I love dead kittens!
That's why I love dead kittens!

That's why I love dead kittens!
copyright 2013+, Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Matthias - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Twisted and sick in so many ways!!! I love it though!
Peter Andersson - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
One more benefit: If you get tired of them you can easily turn them into dogs - pour gasoline on them, throw them on the fire and they go "woof"...
Red Ant - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks Matt and LOL Peter. I'd considered, for a moment, taking my alive cat, dunking him in bleach, and sticking a mop handle up his ass to up as a mop on the floors, and get rid of his flea problem at the same time. I got a Swiffer mops and flea drops instead lol
missKitKat - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Sir, L'Ant Rouge, "Mighty Duke 0'Swamp", glad to see your red hand back writing again, Sir ! Please . . . stay clear of pressureCookers, Sir !
Onslaught - April 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Cat, huh, yeah What are they good for, absolutely nothing, Uh-huh. 555
Abbott Skelding - May 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Great job! Dark and humorous...the best kind of spoof.
Max Power - May 21, 2013 - Report this comment
If they're still alive, you can huff them to get high.
Glen S - May 28, 2013 - Report this comment
I'm always a fan of sound-alikes. Very funny theme, great pacing, and I especially enjoyed 'fumin/exhume him'
bobpiecheese - May 29, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The choruses could've used a lot more variation, but this was still so delightfully twisted I can't help but give it 555!
Scrawny Johnny - June 25, 2014 - Report this comment
What's up old friend? Check the thread we used to carry on your parody of Them Bones.

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