The Lyrics
Yeah!
You took me up (yeah) in your spaceship, my problem (oh)
Is the fact that I don't get your jargon (huh), I'm not a Martian (huh, yeah)
There's others issues with (big issues) this whole abduction bit (so blows)
That I can't deal with right now, can with this
All those films that have an alien-style abduction (yeah)
Had a weird obsession with probes inside arses
Glad you skipped that stuff, wanted an assistant
Wonder why that's me (uh, uh, uh), me you had to pick (yeah)
No geek, hey, no technician
You chose me? Yeah, that I just don't get
All your equipment (uh), fancy sparkin' lights shit (huh?)
Picked the one wimpy little git who, bro, can't even lift (no)
So I'm thick, I can't learn this stuff
Even if my phone had some charge, signal ain't up to snuff
No space-Google to trawl (hey) for how-to's, it's balls (ha)
Not similar to any show that I've watched at all, *sigh* (ha)
That would've really been convenient, this (okay)
Is more realistic, thus inconvenient, piss
I'm not the person anybody would want
To fix a toaster, let alone a damn spaceship, come on
Lifted me up (yeah) in your spaceship, my problem (yeah, yeah, oh)
Is the fact that I don't get your jargon (oh), I'm not a Martian
Kind of an idiot (a dumbass), not understandin' shit (don't know)
Nothin' will click in my brain, you great thickbrain
Why pick me up (yeah) in your spaceship? Gained problems (oh)
With the fact that I don't get your jargon (yeah, oh), I'm not a Martian (oh)
Another problem with (hey) this technology shit (uh-huh)
Your teachin' of it is lackin' a bit, mate, mate, mate, mate
All of your words have become English
Well, one dialect called (ha) "prick"
You might've said what the thing is called
But never point to which one it is
"Can't humans read?" Yes, well, mostly, but
There's a minor flaw in these translator bugs
In my earholes they went, can hear your insultin' (uh-huh)
But my eyes? Still understandin' nothin' (yeah)
So no, I can't read the labels on them (oh)
It's not obvious what they are from context (yeah)
Don't have the data, not covered in class, this (yeah)
Is kinda bullshit, don't you have time to teach me shit (yeah)?
No? Mate, I can't learn with stress (yeah)
I can't tell you if the shields can take another hit
Which gauge is that then? 'Cause I would love to help (yeah)
But with no Blarg-to-English (yeah) dictionary? Welp
I can't work on this damn spaceship, got problems (yeah)
With the fact that I don't get your jargon, I'm not a Martian (yeah, huh)
You're not explainin' shit (don't get this), I've got no confidence (zero, yeah)
That I'm gon' pick it up (ha) in time, you thickbrain (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
You picked me up in your spaceship (yeah), your fault then (yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh)
Is the fact that I don't get your jargon (oh), I'm not a Martian (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
In fact, the last lyrics (huh?) of that past verse I did (yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh)?
I'll be expandin' on all that right quick, mate (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Do you have action schlock movies? And have you watched
One at all? This is like them (them)
Lasers and monsters and attacks by damn space pirates, god
Is not the time to learn your jargon (-gon) (ey)
Can't I get some time off to run through all the stuff
I must know to run your ship (ship)?
"I need the credits"? Man, I guess capitalism sucks
But still I need to learn your jargon (-gon) (yeah)
Can't go back to my planet, that ship has sailed, goddamnit
Not your intended plan, it honestly kinda happened
A wormhole started snackin' just like Farscape, just lackin' (uh-huh)
Skills on my part, oh, and this: you can't make it re-happen (uh)
But now I'm stuck in your spaceship, got problems
With the fact that I don't get your jargon, I'm not a Martian
I get your frustration (it's bullshit), "teacher"'s not your station (no, though)
But revelation: real smart, I ain't it, mate (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
You scooped me up in your spaceship, your problem (yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh)
That I'm crap at pickin' up your jargon, I'm not a Martian (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Gotta work together, will make things all better (yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh)
Don't start head-wrenchin', that won't help ever, mate (whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh (hey, uh-huh)
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh (it's bullshit, blows so)
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Yeah, eh, eh, eh, eh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh