You're now tuned into the sixth or seventh greatest...
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Luke, you can brush your shoulders off playa, I gotcha...

"She's more bulbous than a blimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Smells like the Bronx Zoo"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder

I probably owe it to y'all to tell y'all our courtship tale
Didn't find her at the pound, or at a yard sale
We met by email, I knew true love would prevail
Where the keypad I command, though I type with one hand
All the ladies they love me, at least when I be dreamin'
When I'm caught peeping in the shower you know they be screamin'
I snort while I be laughin', awkward like a giraffe, an'
All the math club thinks I'm ill when mad cosines I be graphin'
I'm cool as a kilojoule, man, I'm so crass I'll harrass
Ladies, women and girls, and I ain't got no class
Like a summer school, get it man, I ain't got no class
It's a bummer, fool, can't get no action, alas

"She's more scary than the Gimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Got a moustache, too!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

But now I got me a woman, and my misery is over
Though you say that her name really oughta be Rover
Legs are thick like an oak, her, arms like wrestlers', yessir
Need a toxic waste crew if you plan to undress her
And she's 52 years of age, and she's drinkin' 'bout
52 beers a day, and she's stinkin' now
52 tears betray my true feelings
But still 52 fears delay my thoughts revealing
'Cause I know she, of course, could demolish me
She's bout 40 'round the waist, I'm D.O.A. on the scene
Must be something in her genes, 'cause she's a freaking machine
No cajones, I, say I love her and lie

"She's a whale and you're a shrimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Bet she could eat you"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

Charlie's back into action; parodies back on the site
Me and my overweight beeeeitch fit like root beer and Sprite
Peanut butter and meatballs, buffalo wings and pie
What a poorly matched couple, gotta get out so I
Say "I've the clap, honey," hear "What's that, sonny?"
How will I get out alive? This really ain't funny
From love to loathing, from cool to choler
From heat to something mad cold like polar
You gotta pardon Chuck, I just really needed a quick [expletive deleted]
It's like a one night stand run amok
Prisoner of war, homie, you were right before, cronie
The eye of the beholder? Could you prescribe specs fo' me?

"You cannot be such a wimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"You're just a whipped fool"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

You're now tuned into the sixth or seventh greatest...
I rock amiright...I rock amiright...