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Song Parodies -> "Eye Of The Beholder"

Original Song Title:

"Dirt Off Your Shoulder"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jay-Z

Parody Song Title:

"Eye Of The Beholder"

Parody Written by:

Charlie Decker

The Lyrics

Everybody has had one of those "What was I thinking" relationships. Still, it is said that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder...
You're now tuned into the sixth or seventh greatest...
Make the font big on your monitor...
Luke, you can brush your shoulders off playa, I gotcha...

"She's more bulbous than a blimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Smells like the Bronx Zoo"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder

I probably owe it to y'all to tell y'all our courtship tale
Didn't find her at the pound, or at a yard sale
We met by email, I knew true love would prevail
Where the keypad I command, though I type with one hand
All the ladies they love me, at least when I be dreamin'
When I'm caught peeping in the shower you know they be screamin'
I snort while I be laughin', awkward like a giraffe, an'
All the math club thinks I'm ill when mad cosines I be graphin'
I'm cool as a kilojoule, man, I'm so crass I'll harrass
Ladies, women and girls, and I ain't got no class
Like a summer school, get it man, I ain't got no class
It's a bummer, fool, can't get no action, alas

"She's more scary than the Gimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Got a moustache, too!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

But now I got me a woman, and my misery is over
Though you say that her name really oughta be Rover
Legs are thick like an oak, her, arms like wrestlers', yessir
Need a toxic waste crew if you plan to undress her
And she's 52 years of age, and she's drinkin' 'bout
52 beers a day, and she's stinkin' now
52 tears betray my true feelings
But still 52 fears delay my thoughts revealing
'Cause I know she, of course, could demolish me
She's bout 40 'round the waist, I'm D.O.A. on the scene
Must be something in her genes, 'cause she's a freaking machine
No cajones, I, say I love her and lie

"She's a whale and you're a shrimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"Bet she could eat you"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

Charlie's back into action; parodies back on the site
Me and my overweight beeeeitch fit like root beer and Sprite
Peanut butter and meatballs, buffalo wings and pie
What a poorly matched couple, gotta get out so I
Say "I've the clap, honey," hear "What's that, sonny?"
How will I get out alive? This really ain't funny
From love to loathing, from cool to choler
From heat to something mad cold like polar
You gotta pardon Chuck, I just really needed a quick [expletive deleted]
It's like a one night stand run amok
Prisoner of war, homie, you were right before, cronie
The eye of the beholder? Could you prescribe specs fo' me?

"You cannot be such a wimp, Charlie!"
Eye of the beholder, dog
"You're just a whipped fool"
Eye of the beholder, dog
Think that I'm crazy, baby? Don't forget that beauty's in
The, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder
Beauty's in the, eye, of the beholder

You're now tuned into the sixth or seventh greatest...
I rock amiright...I rock amiright...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   5
 4
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Snap, man! I need to get me Jay-Z, this was just brilliant. "I type with one hand." I hear you loud and clear. My 'nose' also requires maintenance whilst emailing.
Rick D - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
DKOS, but appreciate the effort
Agrimorfee - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) This is Brattoni-level rap parody writing, Charlie!. DKTOS, but enjoyed this very much. You kept the storyline and "voice" consistent .
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Come on, Agrimorfee, it isn't THAT bad...
MysteryGoat - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS
Guy - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-E) DKTOS, but I'd heard a drunk say once that "beauty was in the eye of the beer holder".
Johnny D - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I don't have to KTOS to appreciate the poetry and breadth of this effort.
Scathe - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-E) Huh?
Stuart McArthur - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) - sounds like one of them "keeper" relationships I keep reading ' bout, Charlie
2nz - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I hate to echo (to echo) what some of the others have said, but I DKTOS and I can definitely appreciate the effort of the lines and rhymes in this work. Especially enjoyed the first stanza after the beginning refrain.
Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--DKTOS a bunch this round, but good job on a tough rap song
Phil Alexander - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm going to echo (to echo (to echo)) what 2nz said (said (said)). Very impressive, even if I DKTOS either.

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