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Song Parodies -> "The Lone Realtor"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Gone"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"The Lone Realtor"

Parody Written by:

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The Lyrics

When I'm Gone was song 2 of 3 on my list of favorites to spoof. The original song is Em's amazing first single from Curtain Call and it was just screaming for a parody. The song is about a superhero-like realtor who is fed up with rising prices not letting families get the homes they need. The realtor would do anything to restore some justice to the real estate world again. In the process of trying to get a house for a family, he loses one and they lose hope in him and drama unfolds. Enjoy!
(Yeah,
Close the deal,
On the dotted line, I guess)

Have you ever loved a home so much you've made an offer?
Not as a joke, no, literally made an offer,
When you agree with the buyer how to perform the commerce,
And you will destroy anyone who will try to top her,
But what happens when karma turns right around and bites you?
When some rich guy sets a price that can just smite you,
What happens when you can't afford to pay?
This is what happened to me, I was outbid and so now I say,
"I will help you find the perfect home, house, hizzie,
Pad, abode, I'm never to busy",
I'm here to find homes for those who can't by themselves,
You can find me in ever real estate mag. on every shelf,
I stand against housing injustice,
Whether brick, wood or any other substance,
That's my dream,
Yeah, baby, it sounds crazy,
Sounds hazy,
That I'm here to help so others can be lazy,

And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands,
And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands,

There's this family who tells,
Me they want to move into Duvall,
But they say that the owner just don't want to sell,
It's a two story,
Yard, and a nice view of the quarry,
I tried to make a deal with the seller; he says he's sorry,
Meanwhile, the other house is sold and the fam's in a hotel,
I have to get this house but timing is hell,
Because I heard a rich C.E.O. has his eye on it,
I race to the house, "No! Please! Don't sell! Buyer! No! Stop it!",
Goes in his pocket, pulls out a ballpoint pen and pops it,
There's a contract on the table but I was able,
To dive up and place my arm over the line,
But it was too late; the paper was already signed,
I'm thinkin', "I've got one more chance to do right and it's tonight,
Now go out and get them a house before it's too late",
And just as I'm able to get up and start driving,
My cell phone rings, I plead forgiveness but they're gone,

And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands,
And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands,

60,000 dollars,
And no bidders or callers,
I call the family, greeted by excited hollers,
Put the phone down, the family was coming out,
They were thanking me so loud; I take one last look at the house,
I glance down; I don't believe what I'm seein',
Another car pulls up and the driver oozes green,
So much money, in my life, I have never seen,
Yes, he came from Sweden,
By now, my lip was bleedin',
I rushed to him and he tells me, on this house, he's been readin',
So he heads inside and my family arrives,
He's got bags of coins, and when I say bags, man, I mean bags,
And my family looks like they were just kicked in the groin,
"I get the point,
Fine, me and the kids are goin'",
"It's not sold, wait!"
"It's too late, you traitorous fake,
Now go in there and sell him the house we felt was our fate!
That's what you want,
This realty game,
I never imagined a realtor so lame!",
And they start to walk away,
And so I run inside,
And I almost collided,
I say, "I'll match it,
However long it takes me, I'll match the price!"
I heard him laugh, all this time I could not see,
A pen by his feet, he dropped and is now starting to reach,
I turn around; I grab the pen like a ticket,
I hold it over the paper, raise it and click it,
My name's written,
My lip is bitten,
The price of two mil, below, is sittin',
That's when I rush out to see the family starting to drive away,
I flag them down and I say,
As of today,
The house belonged to them, yay,
They walked right up to me and hugged me,
Told me they loved me,
I just smile and rush off to save another,
Family in need,

And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands,
And as I grow I know,
Realtors are tryin',
To get the prices of houses risin',
Just know that I will always be fightin',
To get all of these houses to where they're needed, in the right hands.
Kind of makes you want to sell some homes, doesn't it?

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Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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Luke Brattoni - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
The rhyme scheme on the opening line of your chorus was waaay off 'And when I'm gone, just carry on don't mourn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice' versus 'And as I grow I know, Realtors are tryin', To get the prices of houses risin',' ...you had the syllable count but stresses and rhymes didn't fit at all. Rest of it was fairly well rhymed and a hilarious concept. 444

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