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Song Parodies -> "Spare Pants"

Original Song Title:

"Square Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Spare Pants"

The Lyrics

A fat guy who carries spare pants with him everywhere because his gluttony results in his current pair always breaking.
Blimpo, set heavy,
A real huge gut cuz I'm fat!

Lard-fill patties and lots of
Jelly-filled gelatin dipped in
Goop with goobers
And more food than Europe
Til belt loops are broken and the
Room is smoothing
My suety boobs.
[sounds of boobs rubbing against wall]

Never cease to swipe at cream or fudge.
These strong buttons have pushed into my flesh.
I'm a fan of grease, lots of Maltesers have just rolled under-seat.
It a place stocked with feed!

All this trifle I had to eat with shrimp, oh,
I'm fat now and I have been teased as 'Blimpo'.
Tiny briefs that cannot contain my pimples.
Pound of chips and rump of beef is trim? NOO!
Not even in a gay bar,
Can I get grease to make these midday hunger pangs stop.
I swallow three of my Cot cheese Saos and, uh-oh!
My grey pants, they break off.
[ripping/tearing noises]

I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.

They did tear down all the back, meh, one more snack. (Mmm!)
A cookie-monster attack and a spam pack.
I'm a man whose damn tush will push pants limitations.
Smoosh the excess weight with luscious lubrication.
It fits? Waistband is tight and it bites, but hey someone's mind bright as mine says
'Quite alright that the flubber works wonders and keeps pants up here.'
Oh no, I won't need no long cincture.
Cocoa, I want sieved on Mongol pears.
Juicy prune juice. Oreos, Jello squares.
You there! Don't think I've swallowed bears?
Hoed down Babe Ruth bars by truckloads there?

Yeh I scoff til my rather chubby butt gets puffed up.
I now have taut shorts, ripping with fluff and stuffing.
Til an awful sound rents the club with ruptures.
Can't hide my haunches, stuck in public half-starkers.
Hopelessly spastic until I grab a package.
Packed with these baggy white slacks with checkered patterns.
Grab a mirror, extended to fit expansion.
Next thing you know I'm got buckled pants on, fastened.
Rejoin the luncheon with lots of strudel in gravy.
I lust for flavours, eating the food like I'm crazy.
I've ate the plate now, heating the soup, microwaved leeks.
My fanny's great, but get baked goo for the cake, please.
Lazy from weight drives waiters crazy.
But I pay their wage, one plane daily!
My boobs they hang and pants do strain, hey,
If they do break, great, I brang thick-made braces!

I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.

Stuffing fills me more than a milky smoothie.
Mutton grilled meat, buns all congealed- how groovy!
Barfing spills galore, goopy spew is free.
There's nothing you can do to me, flab reeks fruitily.

Asthmatic, lymphatic, flabby my blubber shakes like it's aquatic
Ain't no buttocks fatter it grows round from butter batter.
Gotta pack a lot of pantaloons and others
Oops- my butt's uncovered- bum's a bubble larding got to cut some garters,
Keep munching there's more lunch here to take.
Keep crunching biscuits, pant'loons split and break?
Grab the jodhpurs, please. Strong cotton, knitted fleece.
Chug lots of cranberries, mug smeared with slop like these lemon seeds.
Hungry, stop the chunder siege.
Number three for my count of tongues in me.
Strongest reek like a sock of pongs, you see.
Thickshake pee, my pants wet like under-sea.
Spare undies, rather grotty, they're pants on Sunday.
But can't be held on my body by mid-Monday.
My pants busting, ass like N.Y.
Lets get heavy, shorts made of material bags, hessian!

I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.

Just today: got some spare pants for me
Fatty bod: got some spare pants for me
Extra-large seat: got some spare pants for me
Bust four times: got some spare pants for me
Handy britches, spare pants for me.
Packed some britches, spare pants for me.
When they split, so-blimp-o, fart with ease.
Thirty-trousers, got some spare pants for me
Leeeeviiiiiis!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 2
 2
 
 4   2
 5
 5
 
 5   21
 16
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ashkicksass - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, bratface, so I can't vote. But the fact that you used the word "britches" made me very happy. Even though the rest of the song was really yucky. Cleverly worded, but really really really yucky...
neminem - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Why is this song not about Sponge Bob, for foo's sake?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Spongebob Squarepants?! Ingenius!! Unfortunately I have only seen him twice, a picture in MAD magazine and on a Nickelodeon ad whilst in a hotel with cable. We Australians don't have his show, so I wouldn't know what the hell to write about. I'd love to see your parody of this song, neminem! Bratface, eh? Well Mrs KICKSface!
Ashkicksass - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
LOS! (Laughing out softly)
Ashkicksass - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
LOIAMT. (Laugh out in a medium tone.)
Apricot - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
FATHSBLBHJC. {Feels as though he should be laughing, but he just can't} I loved the chorus, but the rest of it just didn't amuse me. This is the first of your works I didn't love. 5-2-4
neminem - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, heh... I just realized that I read it wrong. I saw "Square Pants," instead of "Spare Pants". But yeah, that *does* mean that I should really do it myself. Except I've only seen it a couple times as well.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2004 - Report this comment
DO IT, NEMINEM, DO IT NOW! *whip crack*
Guy - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM - DKTOS, I wish I were an Eminem fan, (did I just say that?) because I am sure that this parody has done the original justice.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for reading, Guy! I just noticed one blooper, it's just meant to be 'Juicy prunes, Oreos, jello squares', which fits the Eminem/Feminine rhyming to a T-bone steak... slathered in mustard... with a side of roasted quail...
Johnny D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM AUG) This has me laughing out loud ---- physically, for real ---- like a freakin' nutcase, so I guess I LIKE IT !! ;-D This is great, Luke!
Agrimorfee - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(aug 04 SOTM) Jake, you make it verrry difficult on how to vote this time around...good stuff, as always. Your rhythm matches Em's to a T!555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
A 'T' for Thanks JD and Aggy!
Arwen - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--I don't know the original, buddy. I'm sure it's FABulous, though...I'll see what I can find...
Rick D - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Lyrically bigger than the pants
Ash - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) dktos cuz I'm no major Eminem fan... but hey.
Adagio - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM DKTOS, but 5's anyway.
Phil Nelson - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not really funny, but ok
Guy - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC's) I echo my above comment -

SOTM - DKTOS, I wish I were an Eminem fan, (did I just say that?) because I am sure that this parody has done the original justice.
Spaff.com - September 19, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS (I've already confessed to you how hopelessly dated I am), but I appreciate the enormous (pun intended) amount of effort that went into this. And "[sounds of boobs rubbing against wall]" made me laugh out loud. Literally.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
After testing out numerous activities to see which would sound the most like the record scratching on the track, boobs rubbing against a wall matched perfectly, followec losely by 'sound of excreting an inflated beach ball'.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Just eat it, just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it Edith.
Johnny D - September 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
martha - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
wowm... this is a calorie ridden marathon....funny though!!
Agrimorfee - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yeah, now this is the song I think you should have submitted to the current Rap Contest. Ah but anyway, my previous comments above still stand.
Adagio - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC)DKTOS also, but I'm sure that this parody has done the original justice.
Phil Nelson - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This one again? See above.
Melhi - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
S round: DKTOS. Feel bad saying that, I'm trying to rush through these while attending to pressing matters in real life, but I will try to get back to this one. :)
John Jenkins - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I appreciate the good rhyming and clever word play.
Peregrin - September 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Another good one, Luke
Arwen - September 27, 2004 - Report this comment
ABCs...I have to give props to anyone who does Eminem. Seriously too hard for me...=)
Meriadoc - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Um...kind of icky, but well done...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all of your 'feedback' guys!
The Invincible - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Dude, what is wrong with you? You must be some kind of machine to belt out rhymes like this. This is the funniest rap parody I've ever read. EVER. Period.
Jeff Reuben - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Suety? This was good =)
Meriadoc - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm getting a Deja Vu....
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(AUG SOTM) - DKTOS, but I'm trusting the 16/17 who gave you "5" on pacing. 5's across, very funny read...
Claude Prez - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Delightful; excellent rhyming. And I wish Guy was an eminem fan too (did I just say that?)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Invincible, I'd like to do a recording but I can't find an instrumental midi on the net. Oh, and I don't have net access at home... or recording devices or music programs... and my voice is even more irritating than Eminem's...
JEFF: I think suety is a word... isn't it a synonym for fatty? *consults dictionary* Hey! I was right! *grins superiorly*
MERIADOC: So is Phil Nelson.
PAUL:Thanks for not trusting apricot. He's gone fruity.
CLAUDE:LOL! And what do you mean 'superiorly' isn't a word!?!
2nz - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a high lyrical achievement... of some sort. Sadly, I DKTOS, so I'm not much use here.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Frankly, dear, you're not much use anywhere.

;)
Adagio - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
(Food Parody) Already voted.
Agrimorfee - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) Here's a major contender once again!
Guy - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) DKTOS Sorry but Eminem just isn't on my menu. But M&Ms however are.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for coming for a second (or third...or eighth) helping Adagio, Agrimorfee and Guy.
Stuart McArthur - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) Yes we do have Sponge Bob, Luke - on Foxtel though. But you didn't need him - so dense with information this already was - must have taken a while! - great work - 555
Johnny D - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(Food) See above!
Saider E. - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
FOOD - I was fooled by the title thought it said square pants as in the sponge but then again i am quite slow
Jeff Reuben - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought the same thing. Good job though, Luke!
Paul Robinson - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(FOOD) Still DKTOS for me, still a very funny read.
Jack Wilson - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(Food)LOL!!!! 555! This is great!
AMIRIGHT FOOD PARODY CONTEST - BRONZE MEDAL - November 22, 2004 - Report this comment
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