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Song Parodies -> "Azkaban"

Original Song Title:

"Rabbit Run"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

Sirius' plot to escape the wizard prison. Singing this parody coherently is almost as difficult...
Numb haze: I just want to leave this cell of fear.
Cold steel pikes, I'm surrounded by a hell in here.
These dementors suck my life out, thoughts are seldom clear.
No highlights, just pain for twelve whole years.
In this cold must, I'm so pale and don't smell revered.
A mental veil cast on this jail, they leer,
Dementors hoarding my nostalgia near.
Vile, they jeer as they suck out barrels of tears.
I yell, it sears.
All I hope is to get out, until then peer
At this pic of the Weasely's in the Daily Prophet. Oh well, that's queer...
That old rat- it's no other than my pal appeared.

I was in stellar trouble cuz that fella killed himself.
Left behind a little finger, spelled away in stealth.
Down a grill he left, through the walls he crept.
I wept, mourning over James and Lily's death.

And then a load of cops came, grilled my chops.
'The clink for this dude, won't stand trial, just bail 'im up.'
Cell inmates moan a lot, a goner wailing lots.
Full-grown mullet that is dusty and filled with crusts.
Still I clutch, to the hope that I'll get out.
Lose them, yet, I'ma take the island route.
Why in doubt-
That I'll fail to fool these three,
Dementors who guard me so art-fully.
Too hard? My heart is marred cuz mind is weak,
Fool-all those blinded guards with my hide-and-seek.
They'll never find me with my neat canine body,
Pelt of curls, as black as night disguises me.

I got fleas to fight but I'm free from sight,
Y'all I flee through night.
And my plight is find that despiteful parasite.
Traitorous, now I'll really kill him, set things right.
Yeah, I'll bite and bite and bite...
To smite that pathetic dude.
You farker Pete Pettigrew!
I'm dark light dim light. Run through this shack that shrieks.
This Black, a knight here who'll just hack Pete to vapour.

I'm destined in my quest.
If I could just get assistant witnesses up, confessing.
But they won't come. Praying and hoping for just one.
Oh great, here comes Lupin!
Nope, not good enough, he's a werewolf.
Too bad people scorn lycanthropes. get scared off.
I'm merely a puff of nightmares, a bare myth.
All that I hold dear is Harry's welfare and love.

I evade the prying eyes of Snape.
Try to guide Ron safe past this place.
Whomping Willow hits in a rage. Underneath, I prowl the dark.
It tastes inspid when I nip his leg. I growl and bark.
My, a witch at Quidditch, Golden Snitch. Harry Potter saw me sit there,
Now he's startled, mouth open.
Hermione gets the bloody whole thing wrong.
She's so wholesome and young.
Yep, a smart witch but watch your tongue!

A melee of speech... now Snape's incensed.
He hates me, sees me and makes with his crazy rants.
But the kids listen to our tale of awful moments.
Make a decision and they care for lawful closure.
And now we are turnin' on that hairless ball of vermin.
He cowers, but just like a Firebolt, we're burning.

Um, Remus is teethin' on us.
A minor setback, Pete's shrinkin' on us.
Through Forbidden Forest.
They got Black, save me, tied up under key and lock.
Buckbeak- what? Twice that they've freed me from wrath!
Gotta leave this dock, time to lift my pace,
But I'ma come back, godson, with gifts and much thanks, witch.
In ground or ditch I'm gunna stay alive.
Just survive and hide, soon a goner in Book Five.

Yeah, I got a dream and I have hatched a plan.
I will flash past as fast as NASCAR.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I really want to vote...but I DKTOS...sorry! Looks good, though...
Sweet Indigo - July 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Alas, DKTOS, but I really like it. Have you thought of submitting it to Harry Potter Filks (
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen & Sweet Indigo. The song's the last track on the 8 Mile soundtrack if you're really desperate. I'll check out that Filks thing ASAP, but I'm on holiday for a fortnight and have to cram in minutes at Internet Cafes which are like ten bucks an hour. Cheers!
Ashkicksass - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I also DKTOS but had to give you a shout out! Liked your lyrics!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheddar to you, Ashkicksass! ('thanks')
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Rightio Sweet Indigo, I checked out the site and saw a few parodies by a certain 'Pippin'... but where do you submit?!
Lady Luck Moony - August 30, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but loved the parody. You mentioned both my favorite characters!
Adagio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(Fantasy/Sci-Fi) DKTOS but a good read.
Phil Alexander - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Another DKTOS, I'm afraid, but DGAF: it read (or rapped, rather) extremely well, and tells a mean story. Nice one, Luke.
Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi/Fantasy) I am impressed when people take on long intricate raps, and this is no
Guy - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) DKTOS and what JD said. I have looked at the idea of doing a rapper parody but still cannot get into it. One of these days I may come forth with one.
Jeff Reuben - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Good song! I still need to catch up on the HP books/movies
Paul Robinson - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi) I also am in DKTOS-land on Eminem. This round is very heavy on "Rings" and "Harry Potter" stuff, neither of which I know all that much about.
2nz - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this functions well as a semi-epic poem. Starts out really dark, then breaks into the rest of the story. Nice one Jar-Jar.
martha - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
this one is so well written ... full of meaning and mystery!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Lady Luck Moony, Adagio, Phil Alexander, Johnny D, Guy: COME FORTH! COME FORTH! Hopefully I'll come third. Further thanks to Jeff, Paul Robinson (you poor lad), 2nz and Marth Vader. "Full of meaning and mystery"...kinda like my locker!
Guy - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-A) See above comments. Still DKTOS.
Kim West - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Looks like I shall be joining the rather large crowd that has not heard of the original song. I can say that I am impressed with the amount of information you were able to put into your lyrics. They were very well structured and creative, a bit like revisiting book three or even scenes from the movie. Very well done indeed Jake! ^-^ I suppose I'll have to search the net for the original song, and then come back to vote, but it is pretty clear in my mind that you'll end up with high marks.
Melhi - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yet another DKTOS and NFWTT (Not familiar with the theme)
Johnny D - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said. Also - great to see the word "lycanthropes" used in a parody!
Agrimorfee - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) I can't believe I forgot to throw a comment here during the SciFi round. Again, your poetry skillz is the one that thrillz in the hissouze of Griffindor.
Adagio - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS and NFWTT, but I gave you 5's for writing such a complicated parody. Good reading!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
abc - Great words, Luke - DKHarryP, but excellent writing - I checked out the last track of 8 Mile, but my minidisk must have the tracks in the wrong order
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Top notch rap parody as per your usual.
MysteryGoat - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil Alexander - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I wanted that scene in HP3 where Harry and Sirius meet to go something like this:
Harry: Surely, you can't be Sirius
Sirius: I am Sirius, and don't call me Shirley
...with Sirius played by Leslie Nielsen, of course :-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, all! (Leslie Nielsen is da bomb.)

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