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Song Parodies -> "Nostalgia"

Original Song Title:

"Soldier"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Nostalgia"

The Lyrics

About a guy who takes his obsession with his family album too far by adjusting, editing and airbrushing the photos on his imac.
Never was a sook. Dusty crap, I hated to look.
Now a closet wanker with a stack of faded old books.
I'm snapping clips by the million of trips with the children.
Ooh, an image that I took at the pavilion!
Yelling: ej-ect any clips that I clicked really quick while I stick,
Every darn aspect of our treks,
With the sea-creatures up at the beach with a view in Peru.
Scotching tape in a scrapbook or two.

Oh I squeal, eat popping corn, glossy snapshots are like meals.
When I'm seeing on these sheets page-to-page of gleaming reels.
Cleaned Aegean, quaint old holidayin' with the whales,
All our sight-a-seein'. Setting presentation of bitchin' tales.
First you peel it, seal it. Call your peeps up, reveal it.
Weakened knees and hell all sleeves are full of bolder colours,
These fit in their twenties. Plenty of these memories.
To feed by the season into this big book of family.

Oh, nostalgia. These folders rolled up in bunches don't crunch.
Valued like a doll or golf cup.
Oh, nostalgia. Leave 'em in the cellar. Groan when they're flaunted.
Secretly adore it.
[x2]

I love Christmas and stuff, can't get enough.
Down the foyer and I'm looking for pets to morph,
Into rather yucky models you would bet were stuffed.
I'm decorating all the cover stockings, set with fluff.
Line the pixels, every pic I take gets fixed, filled,
Wrestle clippings onto other grounds like jigsaws.
Who sees mullets on goony ass uncles? I just cull it.
Disgust doesn't happen when I tap on imacs, voila!

No cracks at how fat a cousin is with a burger but,
I just purge it with click-clacks... and then here's Big Mervin and
Listen: his belt in the loops, no holes in his shoes.
You can't tell he's poor, dude, because I've altered the suit.
Every photo's faults chopped, hauled the spots,
All you see are pictures humming like Travolta pop.
Coming in packing that makes yuck stuff sparkle lots,
You'll all get shocked, by quality folder shots.

[Chorus]

My clips all glow, yo like glitz though you're hawking sputum.
There's no tacky or wack quick-fix, not looking ruined.
Each pic recropped, with the help of PhotoShop to do it.
You view it and... look how I cut these pictures: f***ing poet!
You other suckers could never view bits like my true beaut clips.
Most people buy it, your books show-just how much you're clueless.
Don't ever compromise my whole box of kudos.
My clips are spilling with cleverness, rockin' rufus!

Each pic per flock glistens all around, mixed in my book.
Mission: to have found mum's films, to have checked how they look.
Wishing that my loud, obese children could start to pretend,
That they're loving our bad hike. Instead I just sketch a grin.
Oh, my photo album is filled high with lyin' to grab 'em.
I've been tryin' for my lively archives to go platinum.
And if crapping on makes it seem like my albums are happenin',
Then just clap as I rap on with my photo habit snappin' on.

[Chorus]

Move left, move left, no left, right, left!
Move left, move left, no left, right, left!
[decrescendo notes]
*Click-clack*

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
 1
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 5   3
 2
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User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Not bad...have to dig up the ol' Eminem album
Spaff.com - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Some fun wordplay in this, Ralphing Luke. I'm surprised that you don't have more feedback from people who (unlike me) aren't hopelessly out of it.
Jared - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but I do wish you the best in the compettion
EmiLoca - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) All right. I admit it. I wasn't planning on listening to the orignial song for the sole reason of my lack of liking towards M&M. But I'm really glad I did, because this displays a heckuva lotta effort on your part. I have a new respect for anyone who parodies an Eminem song, but 'specially you, because you nailed this one clear into the next subdivision.
Adagio - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) good work on this parody.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I totally second Spaff here, as is evident by the masterpiece feedback of Jeff, Jared, EmiLoca and Adagio, there is a definite lack of 'hopelessly out of it' in those who do dollop out feedback. Cheddar, guys!
Claude Prez - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Voted on this the other day but had to leave before I could comment. Some excellent rhyming, plus bonus points for the mental image of eminem scrapbooking.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Claude. I can see him doodling swastika tattoos on the photos of his grandma...
Johnny D - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very impressive!
John Jenkins - July 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I must be more out of it than Spaff because I don't know what a sook is. But I agree with those who praise the clever rhyming, particularly pixels - fixed/filled.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 29, 2004 - Report this comment
It might be another Aussie term that I'm unaware is complete jargon everywhere else. It's sort of a synonym for a nerdy wimp, ie. one anal-retentive enough to decorate photo albums ot such an extent. And I don't think it's medically possible to be more 'out of it' than Spaff. ;)
Peregrin - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Great work Jake!
Spaff.com - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Ralphing Luke: You're right - it's not medically possible. I have the prescriptions to prove it.

By the way, Pfizer RULES.
Meriadoc - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Clever as always L'ilLuke, altho' I did have a hard time picturing a photo-snapping dad using words like 'yo'... ;-)
ethan - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
too many words i don't know... makes me feel illiterate and i know i'm not
2nz - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Good for what it was, and I can see Eminem not writing as well as this.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Peregrin, Spaff, Peregrin's conjoined-twin Meriadoc, ethan and 2nz.
Spaff: One of Pfizer's products is Viagra. Is this your prescribed medication? "Take two pills and I'll see you in the morning... AND WELL INTO THE AFTERNOON!"
Apricot - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
You outta do one of Square Dance. I love that song....
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
OK Apricot, Spare Pants is awaiting ye.

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