> "Mathematics"
Original Song Title:
"Marshall Mathers"
^{(MP3)}
Parody Song Title:
"Mathematics"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
You know, I'm not fortunate.
Last year my marks were ruddy. This year I'm noone's second.
Now everybody wants to come around cuz I'll show 'em something.
What the hell do you want to know? Ten million times one?
Get abacus gear.
You see, I love Mathematics. (Mathematics.)
I love irregular pi, I multiplied it by cos and found 3.
If you see me doing reflex lines in the locus boundary,
Know that I'm answerin' every question '42', the trick works soundly.
Oh... you might see some fractions, but I see pure action.
It's quite an infatuation. Dread cotpiorlog?
Well my head hotsup cuz I got all the right answers.
Prance and sing after another batch is enhancing.
Or finding out the tangent of a wack axis.
Striving to get fractals all back to a max plexus.
Love perpendiculars, graphing vermiculars.
2 is 10? Yikes, uhoh, we must have frigged figures.
Dubbed parallels 12h. Trig is a dissed subject.
List off all decimal marks for this object.
Sketching curves, repeating them additions with switched numbers,
So these sums are all drumming your head. Where's your compass?
An amidst all this growth/decay essaying,
I just slip back with a pen and get labellin'.
Forming a mound of some subtly refined numerals,
Soon you'll witness my plenty writ of polemised cube rules. (Infinite!)
Hang tight through this, the tricky part. Damn!
Ink sticks to jewelled cufflinks. It wets my arms and,
I can't subtract nothing, I digit carnage!
There's a catch, no harder questions. Feed my nifty hunger!
Oh I see isosceles aren't scalene trigons.
Where is the adding to sin and power of a prime sum?
What is this adding to a one, your answers lack in their fashioning.
You better go soon, hope there's an aspirin.
Nucleus sums rock, focal dots are quick.
Oy, surd loops I can lick.
And I solve straight, in a flash, all quadratics. Above it.
This you covet.
A million fives go nicely. Irrational pi times ninety,
Cannot enliven this test, blimey!
A hunch: integral quizzes just scare me slightly.
I went and found, beaming, that I'd paired them rightly. (Ah ha!)
I think I'm love here: trapezoids unfurled.
I avoid those pitied fouryearold stylish words.
Trust in my good gear I've got here, a ragged and frayed calculateer,
That's feared by the rest of the Maths year.
Jagged and broke (a violent day) if it's destroyed, Brattoni's head can calculate.
It is no hassle, I'll top these sucky questions in one hour.
Tasks all about the sums of quadratics make some cower.
But towers and stacks of amorphus shapes aren't sour.
Come now, these concave bells shine like a sunflower.
Look atchall drumming your fountain pens,
When I have deconstructed calculus, hours on end.
And I don't need quotes or cheat notes, so I greedily gloat,
When Jake Ralph gets placed highest test grade cuz he wrote:
(Long radius? Who cares about gradients?)
I don't get stuck for time, write 'four two' and I'm maiming questions.
Cuz I love Mathematics. (Mathematics.)
I love the segments of lines and the divine radius amount, see.
If you see me finding peaks of cones for an iron foundry,
Know that I'm answerin' every question '42', the trick works soundly.
Give me abhorred quandaries and I'll correct them properly.
I can answer loopy quizzes without coffee.
Now because I just was oppugning crops of these function nubs
That I jot: Five? One? Nup.
These numbers now are fun to shout when you're really tipsy.
Powers give sixty the factors of sums, messy.
Oh, I just did a test with hexis,
So now I think I'm too quick for roots of estimating bases.
Light functions help bums do these exponentials.
We just want a scholar to query ruling potentials.
Sheets where the functions stink cause trick mathematics,
All you have to do is throw down 'four two' it's nifty. You have it!
Wish for delicious essays like these adverted, that I have worded?
... ...Grab it!
Looking about for operations to cast,
When these integrations don't differentiate in this maths.
So polynomials hold well like polygons construed.
We levy billions by eighths, and always get 42.
Now you are questioning, fussing over
How all of my answers are similar.
How come your 97 is improper?
What a bother, just listen. You ever want a freebie
In covering for your poor skill in arithmetic? Hear me:
How every answer I slap is allowed,
Can easily be found in Douglas Adam's novelling clown. (Eh?)
Well, if you're crap at maths, I suggest you try a new stance,
Try this cheap ass little trick that I've used to pass.
Cheating's all the rage, get this mastered and you'll see a trick for mathematics pass.
Now hear: let me give those rather sucky sums help.
Write here: Double x smells. Double x smells.
The answer to life and everything is 42. Well,
Just sit as mighty marks make your report card swell.
Cuz I love Mathematics. (Mathematics.)
I love triangular die and can derive near most hyperbole.
You agree my asymptotes touching a curve is pure folly.
And still I'm answerin' every question '42', Adams is holy.
Now I loathe Mathematics (Mathematics).
I just discovered that I have been denied the high marks I aimed for.
Apparently my ploy was cheating, I got one mark, a failure.
As for 'root one thousand seven hundred sixty four'... I nailed it!
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Voting Results

Pacing:  4.6  
How Funny:  4.9  
Overall Rating:  4.8  

Total Votes:  10 

Voting Breakdown
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