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Song Parodies -> "Big-Arsed One"

Original Song Title:

"Hard Sun"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eddie Vedder

Parody Song Title:

"Big-Arsed One"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Indio originally did the song in 1989, but I'm using Eddie Vedder's excellent cover version from the movie "Into The Wild". Bracketed words are spoken and not in the radio version of the song.
{Start the mooin'!}

When I walk beside her
I am the smaller man
Tried to get around her
Was almost.... swallowed by her ass

She can kill with thigh-vry power
So you should never get too close
Space - meets time and gravity
She'll suck you in again

She's a big....
A big-arsed hun...
Scaring all the small people
Mmm, she's a big-arsed... girl...

As to what her size is
It's an - unsolved mystery
She's - on the seafood diet
Eats all of the food she sees

Once took out a whole buffet
And, twice, the churro stand
She's as wide as wide can be
Somehow her tush... still expands

It's a big.... (whoooaa!...)
A big-arsed rump...
Squishing all the small people
She's a big-arsed... girl...

Oh, she has a big.... (arrrgh!...)
A big, lard bum...
Sitting on my pet beagle
She's a big-arsed... girl...

Saw her go across a river
She tipped the ferry on its side
When she climbed up on the land
She made glass out of the sand...

{Spoken:

"I read somewhere...
how important it is in life not necessarily to be big...
but to think big.

To measure yourself at least once...
[Without using a scale made for livestock]
To find yourself, at least once, in the most ancient of eating conditions:
[Without a microwave]
That's not the way it is here..." }

She's a big....
A big-arsed hun...
Mobile home for lost seagulls...
She's a big-arsed... girl...


Her friends are albino
'cause she blocks out all the sun
Butt so big it completely surrounds her
Looks the same from back or front

Supersize, her order
She's never seen her feet
You'll be safe with this advice:
Don't ever race her to a seat!

She's a big....
A big-arsed one...
Scaring all the small people
Mmm, she's a big-arsed... girl...

Ah, it's a big....
A big-arsed rump...
Squishing all the small people
Mmm, she's a big-arsed... girl...

Oh, she has a big....
A big, lard bum...
Sitting on my pet beagle
She's a big-arsed... girl...

She's a big....
A big-arsed... hun...
Mobile home for lost seagulls...
She's a big-arsed... girl...

She's a big...
A big-arsed... one
Feeding on the small people
She's a big-arsed girl....

*gulp!*
copyright 2007+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   16
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User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow...quite the effort here! Nice job varying the verses at the end (which I assume are repeated or fade out in the OS). And good close :)
adagio - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL ! Funny! What a job this was and so easy to follow...: D 5's
alvin - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
especially liked the 'albino friends" part...lol
Matthias - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I heard you tell me about this one yesterday, and it came out awesome!!! Is this the first Eddie Veddar solo work done on Amiright? If it is good job on the first time artist.
Stephen Harrington - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
A funny parody overall... the spoken parts are good and I love the line "feeding on the small people". 555
Dee Range - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Good spoof of a song I'd never heard before...thanks for the link, makes it easy to read while listening. 555
Peter Andersson - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Sounds like one of those women so big they get to have their own zip code...
Red Ant - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Jeff, Pat, Alvin, Matt, Step-chan, Dee and Peter!
Wendy Christopher - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
OMG Red Ant - I never thought having my rubbish hearing could be so much fun until I read this while listening to the OS at the same time!! How you matched the rhyming to the original lyrics was inspired - 555+!
Guy - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5B)

She is so big!
Really? How big is she?
She is so big that after opening a Christmas present (a VCR) she remarked - "Oh how cute - a pager"

She also got a digital scale for her bathroom - she got on and the LED said "one at a time please" - She was given a digital scale as a present because her standard scale would only display "to be continued" every time she got on it.

Full figured is one thing but how the subject of your parody is configured makes one want to go figure. This is quite good Red Ant.
Agrimorfee - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Love what you did to this...took the air out of Eddie's big bag...
Matthias - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
The Youtube video threw me for a loop, because there was no spoken bit in the video, but I'm not going to hold that against you because Youtube has magically started to suck as of late. This was good, I loved the line "Sitting on my pet beagle" and "She's - on the seafood diet/ Eats all of the food she sees". Funny and insulting just the way I like your work.
Matthias - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Read it once again with the new music video you found and I liked it a lot better because it was easier to follow along (And it also makes me want to watch this movie. Have you ever seen it?)
Jason - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC B) Very funny! 555.
Max Power - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Great
Below Average Dave - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
This one was really funny in beginning, but kinda got stale at the end, You got me really laughing up early. . .awesome parody overall.
Red Ant - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Wendy, Aggy, Guy (lol), Matt, Max, Jason and Dave. Dave: the last 5 choruses were repeats of the first five (10 choruses is too many), so I mixed them up for memorability and singability at karaoke rather than maximum reader humor.
Stuart McArthur - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) wow, you convinced me, Jack - she sure is big "Her friends are albino 'cause she blocks out all the sun" wow - moss growing near her feet too I suppose - some very imaginative fat gags here - 555
Melanie Lee - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
When you can make a big-arsed girl like me laugh at a spoof like this, you've scored! Loved the sand-to-glass line, and I live the "don't race her for a seat" line! 5-5-5!
Invisible Boy - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah...but it doesn't mean she's not a nice person
"Seafood diet" Nyuk...nyuk...nyuk
Actually you did make this easy to follow, which, I know, shows the effort you put into it
Jeff Reuben - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Still funny, see above!
----------------------------------------- - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
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