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Song Parodies -> "Crystal's Band {Ha! This is the title you get when I get to type the parody! HAHAHA!}"

Original Song Title:

"My Band"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Crystal's Band {Ha! This is the title you get when I get to type the parody! HAHAHA!}"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

"Before you read are song, please read the following disclaimer. We just have to get this out of the way:1. We are not affiliated with Jake A Ralphing. He's left a few comments on our previous hit "I Miss My Horse", and that is the only way we are associated with him. No offense to Mr. Brattoni, we just had to tell you.2. We do not really smoke marijuana, nor do we do any other drugs. Or do we? No, we don't. Or maybe we do! HAHAHA!3. We don't really swear this much, except Apricot and Icy. This is actually toned down for them. None of this stuff is actually true, we get along very well. {We also make no money off of these songs, you capitalist pigs}4. The part of the chorus, "I left a comment..." may be confusing to most people. If it is, check out our Blink 182 parody, "I Miss My Horse". Crystal typed that one for us, so she left a comment that she was the lead singer. Vote on that one while you're at it.5. SI-MAE is pronounced much like "sigh" and "may". Therefore, every time it appears in the song, it is pronounced , "sigh-may"Okay then. Now that we have that out of the way, enjoy our song! It's our story if we were really a band. If you vote, please leave a comment too. In your comment, let us know who wrote your favorite verse."- Father Edmund, Classics Parody Artist
Vocals- Crystal Shades

I don't know dude,
I think Maya's all angry and s***,
And she's like, taking it out passive-aggressive dude.
And I think, Icy's got a freakin' problem with me dude,
And it's Maya who's making it that way, because...

Nobody even knows the name of my band,
Cause they're too stoned to even see their own hand,
I left a comment, now they think I'm the man,
And that's why I'm the lead singer of my band....

So I'm high one night, log on to AmIRight,
Check the message boards, and they all like,
"They say Crystal's the lead voice, see,
But then why ain't she got just one song, B?"
I'm all like, "Oh my God, they said what?
Who said this? Maya? Oh God, you little sl**,
I swear to God, Ed, Why? I don't see,
But for some reason Maya just hates me.
And right now, you know Maya's getting all jealous,
Cause I can do everything from rap to accapella,
And all the stoners are listening,
All those high dudes,
Light their pipes, and their bongs, and incense to set a mood.
And it's like every single night they cheer and clap for me,
But I can't even remember one melody,
So I just fake it and pray they don't see,
Dude, I don't even have a freakin mic with me.
Yesterday Maya tried to pull a knife on me,
Cause I claimed "I Miss My Horse" was written solo by me,
This singing s*** can go her and Icy,
But I take all the fame and publicity, cause see...

My band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Father Edmund: Come on, man! Gimme this mic! Come on!

Vocals- Father Edmund

I don't see the argument here, now do you?
We get it- Maya's mad Crystal stole all her tunes,
Icy and 'Cot, they mad at all of us,
Not my fault they got a busted tour bus!
You don't want my autograph, you's a liar,
And naw, I'm Ed. {Oh, I that you were Maya!}
And what's up with these dudes thinking I'm a girl?
All these sick ba*****s make me wanna hurl,
See I know Music, it's simple, see,
But all I did was watch a little MTV,
So I don't sing, I rap,
Now I'm bustin caps,
Try'n to hold my gun, and getting shot in my back!

Vocals- Everyone's Favorite Couple- Icy and Maya!

Maya: Look at 'Cot, little punk a**, callin' me a b****,
Icy: Yeah, I know, girl, Crystal's been stealing all the flicks,
Maya: Hey, I thought I was supposed to spoof The Sublime tour?
Crystal: No, that was my spoof, not you, w****
Icy: You gon' be late for the bus,
Maya: I ain't gettin on that bus!
Icy: Ours is smallest,
Maya: And Crystal's stuff is the best!
Icy: You know what, girl? I'mmo say somethin'! Ey yo Crys!
Crystal: You got something to say?
Icy: Girl, nothin'!
Maya: Why didn't you say nothin', you afraid to speak?
Icy: Just gimme a minute here, I promise not to freak!
I got a plan now, I just need to rehearse!
Maya: Right, just tell me in the next verse.


Vocals- Icy Does It Solo This Time!

They say I swear a lot, and the group does not,
From Crystal Shades to the Apricot,
I'm gon' let the world know that Icy's hot,
I should b****slap Crystal when the music starts {Hey yo it's *slap sound*}
Ready to snap on whoever say,
"Hey Icy! Dude, I love SI-MAE!
But what's it stand for?"
How the h***'d I know, b****?
You know I'm always stoned, and I'm only clean 10 percent
Of the time, Edmund's stupid every area code,
{Ice, type this spoof!}
B****, type all your own,
Can't make it to my house, d*** groupies in my way.
{Oh My God, It's Icy from that band, SI-MAE!}

Vocals- Apricot

God d*** it, can't take it no more,
Maya, you're a b****, Crystal, you're a w****,
I told you I made the beats, kept cool with thugs,
Till Edmund sold me some drugs!
"Miss My Horse" video? I was in the back,
This song's video? I'mmo be in back,
For AmIRight, I got some suggestions,
F*** Crystal, ax me a question,
Like "When'd you start spoofing?" "How are you inspired?"
{But what about Crystal Shades?} B****, Crystal's a liar.
Anyway, I'm coolest guy in the group,
All the ladies love me, and think that I'm cute.
Eddy told me to do sit-ups and work out,
Did for 2 minutes, and then I passed out!
F*** SI-MAE, It's killed my good mood,
I'm gonna do a duet with that Ralphing dude.

Vocals- Everyone except Crystal this time!

All you dumb Kids, don't you think,
She lies and just lip syncs and she just,
Gets the cash and gives none to us,
Us! The awesome baaaaand!!!

Vocals- Apricot's back!

Nobody even knows the name of my band {ha ha!}
But they're to stoned to even see their own hands {F*** Crystal!}
I just stabbed Crystal, now they know I'm the man! {yeah!}
And that's why I'm the lead singer of my... *laughter*

Vocals- Crystal, Maya, Icy and Apricot

Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our baaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Apricot: Give it up for the most shot-up parody group in the world! SI-MAE!

Vocals- Crystal's Rich!

I'm the lead singer in SI-MAE,
I rake in the cash and share none with Apricot,
I'm the lead singer in SI-MAE,
My God, it sure as h*** takes a lot, but I'm still rich,
Oh, Look out, cause Crystal's rich and she's hittin' the mall,
Oh, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich, rich, rich, rich,
It's hard to spoof all of these songs, But I get so rich,
and share none with Apricot,
It's hard to spoof all these songs, But I get so rich,
And share none with Apricot,
My money. {Where'd everybody go?}
"Thank you in advance for your comments, and for staying polite on our message boards. If you have questions or comments for us, send us your fan/hate mail at This is Icy's address, but he will forward your message to any of us, just address the letter to the appropriate person. Keep in mind, if you send us spam/chain mails, we will track you down and cut you. Lol, just joking"- Crystal Shades, Lead Parody Artist {That's right, I'm still claiming to be the lead!}

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Crystal Shades - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
"Whoever voted for us first, we thank you. We were kinda worried about this one, and we're glad people like it. We love you all!"- Crystal Shades, still the lead singer, SI-MAE
Icy - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
"Awwwww Yeah... SI-MAE's takin' over! Don't be shy with your comments, I love to hear from fans/haters. If you leave a vote, let us know who had your favorite verse. Say why you liked it if you feel like it. E-Mail us even! We have to know, we have a bet... whoever gets the most votes gets to write the next spoof!"- Icy, rap/pop parody artist, SI-MAE
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
*gack* I was sort of expecting a whole song attacking me when I read the intro, but I liked this one heaps. Apricot, how do we organise a duet? I'll email Icy and see what can happen, eh?
Apricot - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
"My pleasure, Jake-man."- Apricot, Parody Artist, SI-MAE
Wife of a thug - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Icy's solo is my favorite verse, thats pretty funny, and I LOVE the parody you guys did a really good job! Keep writing more parodies, i can't wait to read your next one. Peace.
Father Edmund - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well.... Let's see.... The current standings for our bet are: Icy, 1. Everyone else........ Nothing. Come on, people! Vote for your favorite verse, or we can't write our next spoof! Bring you friends to this page, have them leave a comment! WE NEED TO SPOOF! GAAHH!
neminem - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I feel like giving you ones for spamming the forum. Instead, I'm just not going to vote... so don't spam the forums.
Adagio - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Ditto on eminem's comment...proper place is on the home page.
Maya - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry. We'd had this one up for a while, and no one was voting. I didn't mean to become a spammer. Do not judge the group by what I did.
Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Icy's verse is the best.
Agrimorfee - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I decided to look here just because of your spam in the other forum. I'm not a big fan of rap, but I just happened to see the clever "My Band" video the other day, so at least I knew what you were spoofing. The pace was great, and the change in the words was clever in spots. I wish though that you could have twisted the concept a bit more to make a funnier song. It's essentially the same concept as the original--about the funny but fake rivalries within the band. There was no "there" there, knowwhatimean? Take that little bit of extra effort and you will make a masterpiece! 534
Doe Doe Doe - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved it. For the 2 of you who gave 1,1,1; I find that very unreasonable. Maya apologized, she made a mistake. If that's not the reason, I still can't see why. I loved it.
Father Edmund - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This is out of character for me. I think the 2 that voted 1,1,1 are out and out COWARDS. If you are afraid to show your face, you do not deserve to vote. Let us know who you are, if you insist on refusal to forgive and move on. We are not petty people, we vote honestly on how we feel a parody is. Step forth and show your faces, you vile pigs.
2nz - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
In the words of Homer Simpson: "less CHAT, more HAT".
Leo Jay - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't even know this song, so I'm not gonna vote, but since this 'no comment cowards' issue is such a big deal these days, here's my fiddy cents: If a parody needs more than a line or two of setup, the subject matter probably does not have wide appeal. It's fine, of course, to write and submit 'niche market' material, but to expect it to resonate with a general audience is a bit unrealistic.
Maya - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz, not following. As for everyone, we needed to disclaim, out of fear that someone would fear us actually being addicted to controlled substances who would track our ISP address and such. We're new to the site, and not familiar with what's cool to say and what's not. So, we just set a fair warning. If it seems like a bit too much, we understand, we know now that less is needed. Thanks.
Leo Jay - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
If the info is important to putting the piece in context for the reader so they understand it as they read it, it's fine to have it on top, but probably better to state it as succinctly as possible, rather than kill momentum (and possibly, reader interest) by loading too much info on top.

Disclaimers and other info not critical to understanding the piece as it is read should perhaps be placed in the bottom comments section, rather than overloading the top comments. Again -- just my view.
Maya - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for your input, Leo Jay. We greatly appreciate your helpful and respectful attitude, you have given a few amateurs much help. We of SI-MAE thank you.
BLO-TOWN - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I gave you 5's but got a couple things to say. First if you ever have to write as much as you guys had to write in your intro, its not really a good thing. Reading an intro thats almost as long as the song doesnt leave a good impression for voters to vote positvely. Speaking of voting positively, if you don't like getting ones, too bad. This is AmIRight and that happens to ALL songs. At least your not getting negative comments too. Dont believe me, look here Otherwise, good job and keep parody'in.
Steve Parsons - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody isn't funny. Pacing is ok... but people are just trying to be nice to make friends. All that matters is you enjoyed it. I'm not voting but I just wanted to tell you that it certainly isn't the greatest song ever. my one dong is 10,000 times better. - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This was tight! You guys are funny as hell. Very creative. Loved it.
Maya - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
As we said, the "Best Parody on The Site" Thing was a joke. If you've not read the entire thread, I understand. If you did, and are still unable to decipher a joke after a clear explanation, we have nothing to say. We are not that arrogant or self-loving, and don't say your own work is 10,000 times better and then preach to us about hyperbole.
ethan - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
i read through it like i said i would and gave you a 4-5-4 (i had just skimmed before) some pacing problems but not as bad as i expected after the third line and with some practice you might get really good at this... i'll be looking for the "roses" parody that seems like it could be interesting
Crystal Shades - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
S.T.G. - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey this is S.T.G., I liked the parody but at times I was confused (lots of words). That's why DumbGuys only give me little verse, to many words hurt my head. Welcome to the board, \ Oh and one of the words that will offend passerbys is the word fag or queer. Peace
Crystal Shades - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for your comments, all. And S.T.G., perhaps some brain-enhancing nature caplets would be best for you. I hear they really work. Perhaps some aspirin too.

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