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Song Parodies -> "I Use To Rule The Road"

Original Song Title:

"Viva La Vida"

Original Performer:

Cold Play

Parody Song Title:

"I Use To Rule The Road"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I used to rule the road
Interstates were my own abode
Now when I’m driving I fear the fork
To the streets straight through New York

I used to turn on dimes
Feel the gear shifting every time
Listen as the engine sang:
"Vrooom-ey Vroom-e-dy Vroom! Gimme some room!"
But soon as I turned the key
Ruthless cars had ambushed me
And as I watched them all I had to scoff
They’re all flipping me off, it’s pissing me off

I know this jack-ass up here is drinking
Cuts me off with no blinkers blinking
F#$% this turn-off, I have no room
A single wrong guess will ensure my doom
As I'm sneezin' I close my eyes
I see flashes of crashes, crashes that get me towed
So I no longer rule the road

Could buy a ticket and chance to fly
But like these cars, it passed me by
In my rear-view all these fools tailgate
Eighteen-wheelers I hate, all of them late
Revolutions my car makes
When I swerve as I try the brakes
Really makes me wanna scream out far
Oh what dumb-ass invented the car?

I hear them honking, a worthless prefix
Can’t drive through other cars, that’s physics
F#$% this mirror, the blind-spot’s huge
Go take your road test once again, you stooge
For some reason I want back time
That I have wasted in traffic lines
Watch as my head explodes
Thinking of when I ruled the road
See them speeding and I am cursing
Drive too slowly, I still start cursing
F#$% this turn-off, I have no room
A single wrong guess will ensure my doom
For some reason they don’t see me
I wish for change in society
Think as I end this ode
That clearly I don’t rule the road

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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Andria - November 01, 2008 - Report this comment
I know who invented the car. It was Nicholas Cugnot, who built a steam-powered gun carriage sometime in the 1600s or 1700s. According to legend, it crashed, and a later version is on display in a museum somewhere in Paris. It wouldn't do any good to cuss out Monsieur Cugnot, since he has been dead and buried for hundreds of years and has probably been reduced to dust by now. BTW, I used to be a real bad-*ss when I first got my license because I borrowed my mom's 1987 Buick GNX (which she still has, and no, it's not for sale and never will be if she has her way) and raced tuner cars and IROC-Zs around the school parking lot. After she found out about that, she bought me a used Yugo. Thankfully, I have a decent American classic now, specifically a 1978 Dodge Magnum, and I have essentially been getting nowhere fast on the restoration of a $750 1981 California-spec Lancia Beta Zagato, which is currently gutted, stripped of both tops and has had much electrical and fuel-system work done to it, but I cannot get it to run. Either I am not a good mechanic, or Lancia's craftsmanship in the 1980s was worse than those of Renault, Yugo, Diahatsu, Daewoo, Triumph, Sterling and Fiat combined. Here are 555 parking tickets for $555 each with a summons attached.

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