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Song Parodies -> "Can't Activate My Transform"

Original Song Title:

"Evacuate the Dancefloor"

Original Performer:

Cascada

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Activate My Transform"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A super shape-changey guy suddenly discovers he can no longer be a super shape-changey guy! And at the worst time!
Oh, hate to be useless, it's a state I abhor
Want to be movin', kick bad guys out the door
The first to get physical, shot to the balls (ah-ah)
But somethin's wrong with me (ah-ah), screwed up my awesome streak
Evil guys will take flight, I can no longer shift
Can't gain height or new thighs or whatever the shit
That I want, make it up, now I feel like a total dope
Feel like total dope (like a total dope)

Oh-oh, oh-oh, can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, I'm completely useless now
Oh-oh, oh-oh, you've got to be kidding me
I've said the key phrase at least twenty times but change ain't found
Situation really sucks (oh-oh, oh-oh), can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, I'm of no use to you now
Without this, I really suck (oh-oh, oh-oh), this ain't really fun for me
Come on, the key phrase isn't somethin' that's hard to pronounce (oh)

You've still got your strength, you can throw huge loads (throw huge loads)
Your girl's still fightin' with her ice beams so cold
Whole team seems inoculated against the blow (ah-ah)
That I've taken, not right (ah-ah), now my body keeps its size
Sucks, cause I cannot fight on my own with no shifts
Extra eyes, wings for flight and other random shit
I can't stop this mad plot since I feel like a worthless load
Feel like a worthless load (like a worthless load)

Oh-oh, oh-oh, can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, I'm stuck as a "normal" now
Oh-oh, oh-oh, all the bad guys will kill me
Somehow the key phrase won't let me become a faux-Hulk now
This somehow both blows and sucks (oh-oh, oh-oh), can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, why is it just me who's down?
I must have just the worst luck (oh-oh, oh-oh), what, did I just hit a beam
That stopped the key phrase from lettin' me tear my foes right down?

Come on, powers, activate, feels like things are heatin' up
My ass can't regenerate, Wolverine, I'm not
Come on, powers, activate, feels like things are heatin' up
Kinda hard to celebrate when you've been turned into paste
Feel like a prat now I can't do jack
And now ev'rybody else must watch my weak ass
Because I couldn't run for crap until that
Weird floaty ball made me super, man
Don't hate me, berate me, red paint me
Not prepared for all this crap
The magic passcode won't
Let me do my bloody thing and transform, blows

Wasn't hit by some weird gun (can't activate my transform)
I make sure to avoid drugs (I feel like I've let you down)
Not fightin' some magic thug (all of this is bullshit, please)
Why won't the key phrase let me turn my fist colossal now?
Oh-oh, oh-oh, can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, all I wanted was to pound
Oh-oh, oh-oh, all the jerks in my city
But the dumb key phrase is refusin' to unlock me now
I look like a total dunce (oh-oh, oh-oh), can't activate my transform
Oh-oh, oh-oh, better not be loopholed out
The words that let me hit stuff (oh-oh, oh-oh), that would be the end of me
Just got the key phrase, not a rule book for my powers now

SHAZAM! I said SHAZAM! SHAZA- why isn't this working?

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