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Song Parodies -> "Kiss You"

Original Song Title:

"Miss You"

Original Performer:

Aaliyah

Parody Song Title:

"Kiss You"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The usual sign of a date well done is a kiss at the door of the lady's house. That's not happening here, no matter how much the dude wants it...
Ho-oh
Hey-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah
No-no-no-no-no-o-no-o-no

Somethin's gone wrong and I'm stuck here with you
Man, this date's really screwed
Don't want to be near you
That is true (can't be near you-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou)
You think that it's goin' great, so far from the truth
Got that look in your eyes (hate those creepy eye-eyes)
I'm tellin' you outright
Won't kiss you

Just ackno-owledge that you've failed today
Won't get a-a smoo-ooch, cause you've treate-e-ed me
Not like a-a friend, but a lo-o-over
Were just too close, I was a su-u-ucker
To think you-our profile was accurate, cau-ause now
You've grabbed my butt about a dozen times by no-ow
I can't believe (believe)
You lied to me (said you woudn't)
Said you woudn't (but you)
But you just di-i-i-i-i-i-id

Profile went on 'bout how you're a nice dude (bi-ig lies)
You'd never be a douche
Instead you're braggin', dude, 'bout the huge (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Amount of bonkin' you've done, but I don't care, dude
Look at me in the eyes
Don't pucker up, 'cause I (just don't, because I)
Won't kiss you-ou

I've been sittin' here, list'nin' to you-ou-ou
Even though you sniffed my hai-ai-air
You're so sure that you'll date me-e-e though both your eyes are glu-ued
To our waitress's butt, do-on't seem fai-ai-air (just a tad gro-oss)
To call all your exes ho-oes and so casually
"I'm sure you'll make a perfect wife"
Wow, subtle conversatio-io-ion the-e-ere
I can't believe (believe)
Said that to me (hand on shoulder)
Hand on shoulder (remove)
Remove it, pri-i-i-i-i-ick

What a jerk-off, won't follow this up, dude (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, yeah-eah)
I won't go out with you (yeah-eah)
Let alone live with you, you're a douche (giant douche, buddy-y)
"Won't you give me a chance, babe?" (yeah-eah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah)
You've had one that blew
I'm sick of actin' nice (oh no-o)
Un-pucker your lips, I (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Won't kiss you
Don't you recall how the order went, dude?
Talked over me, it's true
Implied I'm fat, you douche, it's not true
"Mostly you chicks are the same, don't eat a lot" Dude
Get the hint, I can dine
On what I want, and I (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Won't kiss you
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I (won't kiss you)
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I

Let me (I-I) leave, no more (no mo-o-o-o-o-o-ore, no-o-o)
Of this damn chara-ade, barely gave me room for talkin' (n-o-o)
"I deserve a kiss" Please (hell no-o, no)
All you deserve is a swift knee
To your "really huge" fam'ly jewels

Come on, piss off, can't stand the sight of you (I got a fist waitin' for you-ou-ou-ou)
You said you're sorry, true
It was sarcastic, dude, I know you (yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Even if you tried to change your smarmy tone, dude
You followed up with tries
To suck my face, so I (yeah-ee-yeah-ee-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Won't kiss you (buddy-y)
Won't you rack off, you screwed up big time, dude
Can't get it through to you (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, no-o-o-o-o-ooh)
I won't be textin' you, callin' you (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh)
"What about your longin' gaze?" Never happened, dude
Never looked in my eyes (yeah-eah-eah-eah)
You were all "boobs", so I (oh-oh no, bu-u-uddy)
Won't kiss you (oh yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Get lost, got nothin' else to say to you
Go whine on reddit, dude (ooh-ooh-oh)
I won't be kissin' you, you're a douche

Rap may be the hardest genre to parody (for me, anyway) but R&B takes a close second, what with its tendency to a) repeat choruses ad infinitum and b) trill like crazy. The latter's mostly an issue for a stickler for accuracy like me, of course.

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Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

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