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Song Parodies -> "Coke was Crazy"

Original Song Title:

"Zestfully Clean"

Original Performer:

Zest Soap TV Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"Coke was Crazy"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Coke origin story is crazy. John Pemberton, a wounded Confederate soldiers addicted to morphine adapted French Wine Cola Vin Mariana but then ditched the alcohol for Coca leaves that contained cocaine. 5 oz steadily reduced to 1 oz. But then a scandal broke out over Negro consumption and going crazy over the cocaine. So then Pemberton removed the cocaine and substituted sugar and caffeine. Originally conceived as a nerve tonic, Coca-Cola emerged the dominant soda since it was produced in 1886. Pepsi followed in 1893. Coca-Cola is the name of the two top ingredients Coca leaves and Kola nuts. The K was changed to C due to German spelling Kola. Pepsi is short for Pepsin ingredient to stop indigestion! Next year Mystic Coke is due to appear.
Coke was crazy
19th Century
Morphine-addict Pemberton with French Wine Cola scheme

(Removed alcohol)

Added cocaine
Changed the name
Earned him fame

Negroes blamed
Brought great shame
Cocaine removed, added caffeine and sugar cane

Yeah, about that name
Kola is German spelling....
Security Code is DEW... go figure!

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Kenny - June 10, 2016 - Report this comment
So original Coke was actually Bordeaux with coca leaves? Interesting.
Rob Arndt - June 10, 2016 - Report this comment
What Coca-Cola started out as: http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/food/29caffeine-articleinline.jpeg

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