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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Be a Weird Occupation Taker"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Be an Airborne Ranger"

Original Performer:

US Army

Parody Song Title:

"I Wanna Be a Weird Occupation Taker"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Odd Job Squad!
I wanna be an Electric Shock Giver,
Shock box jolts to drunks delivered!

Electric shock giver,
Volts to be sober

I wanna be a People Train Pusher,
Rush hour into the train smusher!

PeopleTrain Pusher, into train smusher!
Electric Shock Giver, jolts to deliver!

I wanna be a Reverse Meter Maid,
Make sure your time is paid!

Reverse Meter Maid, time is paid!
People Train Pusher, into train smusher!
Electric Shock Giver, jolts to deliver!

And when I retire?

Im gonna be a Professional Snuggler!
Charge 50 bucks per hour!

Professional Snuggler, Pay-by-hour cuddler!

Im gonna be a Rusty Bike Digger,
Euro Bicycle canal fisher!

Rusty Bike Digger, canal fisher!
Professional Snuggler, hardcore cuddler!

Im gonna be a Forrest Decorator,
Adding flora and fauna goin' 'gainst nature!

Forrest Decorator, goin' ''gainst nature!
Rusty Bike Digger, canal fisher!
Professional Snuggler, hardcore cuddler!

God, somebody shoot me already!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - September 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Note: the train pushers in Japan are known as Oshiya. The Mexican shockers stay near bars and charge $2-4 equivalent to shock drunks sober. The bike diggers operate in Europe and the decorator is someone hired for an estate with land to introduce foreign plants and animals to the property to please guests. The professional snuggler, btw, is not the weirdest in the interpersonal category. There are professional female face sitters (non-sexual, non-smotherers) that are paid per hour to sit on a male's or female's face to cause relaxation! They wear sweats, shorts, bluejeans, whatever... but are clothed. It's considered therapeutic!
Jeff - September 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, you're an oddball! But an entertaining one. Bunch of 5s! Security Code is 3JG... isn't that Luftwaffe-speak for third fighter group?
Callmelennie - September 10, 2015 - Report this comment
The way the electroshock thing works, Rob, is that you get the drunk to pay to get shocked. Then you shock him. At which point the guy says "Jesus Christ, I just paid good money to get shocked by a car battery. I must really be drunk!!"
Patrick - September 10, 2015 - Report this comment
I won't try out for the job of parody writer shooter. Security code HK2. What sort of weapon was that?
Rob Arndt - September 10, 2015 - Report this comment
HK's first product was the G-3 rifle which was based on the Spanish CETME of Mauser origin with the STG-45 which influenced all western automatic rifles postwar except bullpups. The STG-44 led directly to the AK-47 and all spinoffs. HK is known for the USP Pistol, P-11 Underwater Pistol, MP-5 SMG, UMP-45 SMG, MP-7 PDW, G-3 Rifle, G-11 Caseless Rifle, CAWS auto-shotgun, G-36 Rifle, 416 & 417 Rifles, 121 LMG, Smartrifle, and various grenade launchers.

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