My Liberal friends think I'm some sort of Nazi,
They see my hopes for our country as too strict.
I'll take away everyone's rights in an eye-blink,
No matter what I say they are sure they'll be tricked.

Chorus:
Oh, What is a militant moderate to stand for?
Extremes have pre-empted the values I held.
They vilify those who do not see things their way,
And given the chance would be happy to geld.

The ones on the right think my heart is too bleeding,
They're sure that I've turned out too soft in the head.
They cannot accept there's a need for compassion,
Since caring too much leaves us better off dead.

Chorus

Democrats speak of the rights of downtrodden,
We must salvage and nurture all groups on this earth,
And heaven forbid we should mention religion,
Or any differences that might beget mirth.

Chorus

The GOP used to complain about Democrats,
Taxing and spending "til the economy's sunk
But looking at all of the pork we've seen lately,
They're spending like liberals out on a drunk.

Chorus

The rightists speak of welfare fraud running rampant,
The leftists of billionaires bleeding us dry,
One thing that I see that others don't seem to,
Is a bird without right and left wings cannot fly.

Final Chorus.