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Song Parodies -> "Dorner Obsession"

Original Song Title:

"Blessed' Assurance"

Original Performer:

Traditional Hymn

Parody Song Title:

"Dorner Obsession"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

READ THIS FIRST FOR ONCE! I've never even considered writing about such a horrible topic. I'm a man of scruples, conscience, and proven sensitivity. I didn't write one word about the shootings in Tucson, Aurora, Trayvon/Zimmerman, or Newtown. In fact, I'm technically NOT writing about the deadly rampage by former policeman Christopher Dorner. The outrage that has driven me into unexplored territory is the outpouring in social media and demonstrations supporting Dorner's acts. There's a full-blown effort underway to turn Dorner into a martyr, a new Che killed unjustly by the filthy Nazi pigs, The Dorner supporting Facebook pages have tens of thousands of "Likes" already and like Twitter are filled with the most sickening messages about killing policemen and innocent people in general. Demonstrators and signs are appearing on streets and one California ink parlor is shamelessly selling Dorner tatoos. To top matters off, the government and media...always up for a "news item" that makes all gun owners into mad criminals...have glaringly underreported the story and ignored the outpouring completely. Keep in mind this is the same government and media who inaccurately attempted to tie Jared Loughner, James Holmes, and Adam Lanza to the influence of right wing politics. ABC's Brian Ross even suggested that Holmes was a member of the Tea Party. THIS time, however, Dorner's manifesto which named his intended victims also declared his admiring support for many political figures including President Obama. This goes way beyond double standards. I'm sick to my stomach about the whole mess. ;D



Dorner Obsession - twisted new craze.
Pages on Facebook - screaming his praise.
"Likes" in five figures - no sign of stops.
Twitter tweets saying - "Murder all cops!".

What's with this story? I wan't to know.
Is it due to his - manifesto?
Tragic enough that - Dorner had snapped.
Why are so many - sickly enrapt?


Dorner's the victim! That's what they say.
What of the folks who - he blew away?
"Wish he had killed more" - hear the kooks cry.
"All who Chris listed - deserved to die!".

This whole sad story's - nothing but greif,
But what I'm seeing's - beyond belief.
From California - we've heard the news.
People are selling - Dorner tatoos.


While back in D.C. - government's mum.
Dorner's mad ravings - applauded some.
Nary a word 'bout - more crimes with gun.
Prez won't say Chris would - look like his son.

Don't say it's bias - for it's no use.
Good for the gander - not for the goose.
Media won't tell - keeps it from sight.
Too bust tieing - killers to right.





And even more unusual for me, I wrote this to a church hymn. Don't expect another like this one from me, for I pray that nothing this repulsive ever happens again. ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Onslaught - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Good rendition, and fortunately the life span of these things isn't much longer than two weeks. Those guys with the tattoos though, if they ever have children, are gonna' have a lot of 'splainin' to do.
John Jenkins - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
I think your proof reader took the day off, but I commend you for cleverly pointing out the media hypocrisy.
Barry J. Mitchel - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
@JJ: Do you refer to "wan't", "greif" & "tieing"? I didn't take the day off, just the morning. But OMR's phrasing was so good, I deducted no points.
John Jenkins - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
@BJM: Actually, I missed the "tieing," but I also noted "tatoo." I agree with your assessment of OMR's phrasing, but I suspect that he has gotten worse scores than the 554 I assessed.

@OMR: I apologize for these anal comments. I hope they do not distract from your significant message.
Old Man Ribber - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
John - No offense taken at all. There is a long-standing joke between my my friend BJM and I that he is my editor/proofreader. I was talking on the phone as I typed his, and I even see bust instead of busy in the final line. A point deducted? Fuggedaboudit! I get much worse scores than that signing my name. In reality, I was most nervous about approaching this subject and your positive response is a great relief. Cheers! ;D
Patrick - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
The public is becoming increasingly disturbed by government arrogance and oppression. I saw a lot of criticism of the police use of teargas and anger that the cabin was burned. A couple days ago a judged gave some drugged out girl 30 days for contempt of court for telling him to eff himself and flipping him the finger. 90% of the commentators were down on the judge for abuse of power. Notice how the LAPD shot two women for driving a truck that looked like Dorner's. A lot of folks can visualise such a thing happening to them. Gun control will be the flashpoint that sets off a lot of incidents of this nature. How else can all the weapons be collected except by draconian penalties and brute force? If even 10 Dorners resisted a whole city could be brought to its knees, especially if they were more discreet and judicious in their use of force than Dorner was.
Rob Arndt - February 15, 2013 - Report this comment
555 for just writing. Nothing is off limits to a true parodist IMHO. I'm usually the guy that tackles the massacres, but in Dorner's case was not really interested. You know me, I'd rather write about Dornier than Dorner ;-)
Old Man Ribber - February 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Rob - You made my night. Dornier - not Dorner! Junkers - not junkies! Messerschmidt - not Mrs. Smith. Mc Donnell Douglas - not Mc Donald's Quarter Pounder. Lockheed - not Loch Ness. Rickenbacker - not Redenbacher. Neiuport - not Newtown. Fokker - not (nevermind). ;D
AFW - February 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Very good review of an unbelievable news story...but now, comes another one to top it..Bladegunner...
Wendy Christopher - February 16, 2013 - Report this comment
A similar thing happened here in the UK a few years ago with Raoul Moat... but not quite on the same scale. 555 for a thoughtful - and entirely justified - skewering.
Summary - February 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Chris Dorner is a well-night perfect representation of the Left, everything it stands for, and everything that should be done to it.
Rob Arndt - February 18, 2013 - Report this comment
LOL OMR! Thanks. How 'bout V-2 - not V-8 and Zippermayr- not Oscar Meyer! @AFW- that's a good comic character name! Reminded me of an obscure CIA weapon, the bladegun which was a ballistic knife weapon. Sounds stupid but is more conventional than the CIA's "ice bullet" gun! Rounds melt leaving no evidence!!! Even the Germans didn't invent that (they did use ice grenades/mines in Russia however) :)
Rob Arndt - February 18, 2013 - Report this comment
WW2 German Bottled Ice Mine: http://www.specialistauctions.com/makethumb.php?pic=uplimg/mb108899_c6b587d84c3ea889290dbe39d962ca39_mainpic.jpg&w=500&sq=Y

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