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Song Parodies -> "Blow, Blow, Blow Dart Gun"

Original Song Title:

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Blow, Blow, Blow Dart Gun"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
CIA wet dream
Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily
What a crazy scheme!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Poison darts it took,
Left a pinprick on the neck
Shellfish toxin went to work!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
'70s quite chic
Caused a fatal heart attack
Assassination! Neat!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Enough to make one shiver,
The design was pneumatic
The concept proved quite clever!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Meant for foreign shores?
Domestic caused much fear
Committee to explore!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
What a way to go,
CIA, no apologies
A weapon little-known!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Withdraw from Ops debate,
Gun stunned a lot of folks
And other things "The Shop" had made!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Was an odd one,
Nothing like the Ice Cube Gun
Of melting bullet fun!!!

Blow, blow, blow dart gun
Very exotic scheme
From the Reich they got it all
Cane and umbrella guns the same...

Blow, blow,blow dart gun
Didn't phase Red teams,
'mazingly, 'mazingly, 'mazingly, 'mazingly
Developed blaze stun beams!!!
Note: the CIA (former OSS) captured a ton of unconventional German weapons and gear and adapted those to its arsenal of absurd things. The Russians got SS weapons too and started with odd cigarette guns, lipstick guns, and paralyzer beam tech for its spies!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - March 02, 2016 - Report this comment
https://indocropcircles.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/heart-attack-gun-01.jpg
Jonathan - March 02, 2016 - Report this comment
couldn't they've just used a pea shooter? 5's
Rob Arndt - March 02, 2016 - Report this comment
I'll have to check with Patrick on the photo above. The original short range version was cocking pneumatic. The second long range one looks power cartridge driven!
Patrick - March 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Lacks an ejection port, so pneumatic of some sort. Still rather bulky for clandestine work. No lever, so probably a modified CO2 pistol. That would be the easiest to use and to load a second round if a follow-up shot were needed.
Rob Arndt - March 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick, the CIA has a range of these, not just this one.
Rob Arndt - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Btw, the Russians and Germans have underwater dart guns. German is HK P-11 used by German Marine KSK (similar to SEALs), British SBS, US SEALs, and more). Russians have leftover Soviet SPP-1 underwater gun and APS underwater AK rifle! On land, one of the '80 ACR competitors from AAI submitted a flechette firing assault rifle. A flechette is a steel dart. I liked that one, but it was rejected as too complex and radical.

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