When you've gotta go, you've gotta go
That's the way of all things mortal
If you had the choice, would you want to know
How you'll shuffle through that portal?

A friend implied, that when he died
As he frequently would tell us
He'd depart the stage at a ripe old age
At the hands of a husband, jealous

I can't stand pain, so I'll refrain
From the usual diseases
Don't make me sick, just make it quick
For my rendezvous with Jesus

As the time draws nigh to wave good-bye
We'll embrace beneath the covers
Then he'll walk in, and the fun begins
As he spies the secret lovers

Well, the years sped by, for time doth fly
Toward the prophecy's fulfilling
In adulterous bed they came to lie
Both the flesh and the spirit willing

Her husband took off work at noon
For by now he was suspicious
He caught them in the act and soon
He did some things quite vicious

Appalled, ashamed, he fled the room
And down the street went speeding
As he hastened toward a certain doom
That pedestrian was not heeding

My friend was old, with failing sight
And rather hard of hearing
So, he stepped off toward the crossing light
As the big sedan was nearing

A witness said he flew ten feet
And landed in the gutter
As his Maker he went forth to meet
Some final words he did mutter:

"My departure grand, that I had planned,
Just an accident statistic
When I said 'By a jealous husband's hand'
I should have been more specific".