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Song Parodies -> "D-A-Z-Z-L-E-R"

Original Song Title:

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"D-A-Z-Z-L-E-R"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The CDL (Canal Defense Light) was a form of strobing light mounted on 3 types of British tanks- the Matilda, Churchill, and US Grant. These had armored reflectors that would illuminate and dazzle German observers and gunners (operating PAKs and tanks, as well as infantry weapons of all types). When tested by the British, the dazzling light confused the test observers and gunners and the tanks could not be hit regardless as the light gave the illusion of the tanks heading in a straight line when in fact they were moving side-by-side and also shileding conventional tanks to the rear. This was an amazing weapon, so 300 were built for use after D-Day. However, the British Generals disagreed with the usage of such tanks. They believed that they were still vunerable despite British tests and that the Germans would deploy countermeasures or that the tanks would hit German mines. The strobe device had 13 million candlepower and was quite efective in testing. But this is a great What-If considering that ultimately they were not deployed!!!
The Canal Defense Light
Proposed by Fuller
D-A-Z-Z
L-E-R
Strobe on tank
Light-burst shower
Blind the Germans
With bright candlepower

Matilda, Churchill, Grant
Held such power
D-A-Z-Z
L-E-R
Hundreds built
Lots of manpower
Built for D-Day
Brits failed to send over!

The Canal Defense Light
Proposed by Fuller
D-A-Z-Z
L-E-R
Strobe on tank
Light-burst shower
Blind the Germans
With bright candlepower

Matilda, Churchill, Grant
Held such power
D-A-Z-Z
L-E-R
Hundreds built
Lots of manpower
Built for D-Day
Brits failed to send over!
http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/dangerroom/images/2008/05/16/cdl_matilda.jpg http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/15/cdl_grant_3.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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WCJ - August 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Well, at least they didn't do it in a tree... ;-) Nice work Rob! 555! :-)
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2011 - Report this comment
I was surprised by the CDL tanks. Even George Forty an armored expert doesn't list them in any of his books!!! Would have been cool to see them in action and what the Germans would have done. They could have laid oil-smoke screens down to defeat them, or used the IR Panthers at night along with the SdKfz 251 Uhu IR conversions to see them in the dark and hit them. And of course mine damage would have taken out some of them and the Germans would have analyzed them. Any light design is not immune to sonic locators and the Germans had those too.

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