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Song Parodies -> "Jim Thorpe's Body"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Jim Thorpe's Body"

Parody Written by:

MadTom

The Lyrics

As a part-time resident of Carbon County, Pennsylvania I couldn’t resist throwing in my two cents worth on a macabre situation developing there, in the form of this song. Before Julia Ward Howe wrote new and more reverent lyrics in 1862, the melody for Battle Hymn of the Republic was originally that of a much more repetitive and pedestrian song, John Brown’s Body, about the abolitionist who was hanged in 1859 for inciting a rebellion in Harper’s Ferry, Virginia (now West Virginia). More details in the bottom comments.
Jim Thorpe’s body’s turning over in his grave.
We bought him from his widow, our own tourist trade to save.
A really tacky end for an Olympian Indian brave!
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!

Chorus:
Though the deal sounds rather shoddy,
And the crypt’s a little gaudy,
Mauch Chunk needs another body!
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!

Jim’s corpse lies in Carbon County in P-A.
He’d gone to Carlisle Indian School and often ran away.
We’re sure he’d hate the state as much if still alive today!
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!
(Chorus)

Jim Thorpe’s entombed inside a pretty marble trunk,
Within a town that bears his name but once was East Mauch Chunk.
His widow signed the deal ‘cause his estate had gone defunct.
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!
(Chorus)

Jim Thorpe’s people want to take his body back.
We’ve just received a lawsuit from the Nation of the Sac.
We’ll need to change our name again if courts dissolve the pact!
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!
(Chorus)

So if you’re a celeb whose star has fallen and you’re broke,
We have a final resting place for you if you should you croak.
Hey, Tiger, crash your car again! Miss Lohan, take a toke!
Jim Thorpe’s about to go!
(Chorus)

For those who have never heard of him, Jim Thorpe (1888-1953) was an athlete and a member of the Sac and Fox Nation in Oklahoma. Although he rose to fame playing baseball and football for the Carlisle Indian Academy in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, he was also a frequent runaway in his early years. He hit the peak of his fame with the 1912 Olympics with Gold Medals in the Pentathlon and Decathlon, but he was stripped of his titles a few months later when it was revealed that he’d played semi-professional baseball in the past. (The medals were reinstated several decades after his death.) Although he made a successful living playing for both MLB and the NFL, after his athletic career was over he struggled financially and was bankrupt at the time of his death at the age of 64 in 1953. Upon his death, the towns of Mauch Chunk and East Mauch Chunk, Pennsylvania, which had decided to merge, bought his remains from his widow, building a shrine to him and renaming the new single town after him as a tourist attraction. (The town of Jim Thorpe has only a tenuous connection to Jim Thorpe the person as the town is in Carbon County in the Pocono Mountains, over 100 miles from Carlisle.) After the death of his widow in 2007, his surviving children (from a previous marriage) and the Sac and Fox Nation initiated legal action to reclaim his body. Jim Thorpe's son seeks return of remains; Jim Thorpe at Find-a-Grave

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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Patrick - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I keep up with the news by reading what parody writers have to say about current events. A grim story you tell here. A Civil War reenactor friend just showed me a picture he had taken at one of the final resting places of Confederate guerrilla William Quantrell. A couple of his bones are in a grave in Higginsville, Missouri, others are said to be at the University of Kansas, while some say his skull belongs to a college fraternity in Ohio. Perhaps this could be a macabre precedent for the disposition of Jim Thorpe's mortal remains to all the many claimants.

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