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Song Parodies -> "Nothin' for Christmas (Office Party Edition)"

Original Song Title:

"Nuttin' for Christmas"

Original Performer:

S. Tepper/R. Bennett

Parody Song Title:

"Nothin' for Christmas (Office Party Edition)"

Parody Written by:

Ingeborg S. Nordén

The Lyrics

This song is NOT autobiographical in any way; none of my old employers have held office Christmas parties, let alone one that went this horribly wrong. It's just my attempt at off-the-wall humor...*bracing myself for triple-1 votes*
Those nonstop carols in my head--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
I swear I should have stayed in bed--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
Some clown spilled eggnog on the rug,
raved about that date-rape drug,
claimed the boss had left a "bug"--
ugh, what a b***h for me!

Oh, I'm doin' nothin' for Christmas--
next year, they can't make me mad.
I'm doin' nothin' for Christmas--
these parties ain't nothin' but sad.

Some joker broke the boss's chair--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
He sprayed fake snow in people's hair--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
He took a leak on all the plants,
ran up the phone bill calling France
so he could gossip with his aunts--
ugh, what a b***h for me!

So, I'm doin' nothin' for Christmas--
next year, they can't make me mad.
I'm doin' nothin' for Christmas--
these parties ain't nothin' but sad.

The boss picked me for Santa Claus--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
He packed the suit with first-aid gauze--
ugh, what a b***h for me!
He told me "Next year, gain some weight;
you're skin and bones, don't look too great!"
By next year, I might quit...too late!
Ugh, what a b***h for me!

It better be good, next party at work--
'cause if it's not, I'll tell those jerks,
I ain't comin' for Christmas!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 4
 4
 
 5   6
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
:-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Some premature angst, have we not? :-)
Royce Miller - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
you made me want to write something about Christmas now--see what you've done?
AFW - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Check your keyboard...it's making stars where ITC should be..This is good humor...so you must be the good humor man....clever writing..
Guy - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
This would be a hum dinger if it weren't such a hum bugger. Actually I liked it much. People do get stupid at seasonal parties. Put everone on a 5 drink limit.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks guys...I actually don't mind the social aspects of the holidays that much, but I've attended some pretty terrible parties (and heard some Christmas-party-from-Hades stories from friends too). All the same, my lyrics don't match any one story 100%; I just brainstormed "What are some of the worst things, short of a medical emergency, that could happen at an office Christmas party?"
Spaff.com - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
So you're saying this is autobiographical, then? Heh heh. Nice job.
Nutty Bird - October 12, 2017 - Report this comment
And when they play christmas songs before halloween then we know what Carlie Brown said about christmas being too commercial
Melanie Lee - December 06, 2019 - Report this comment
Just found this parody. You're getting high 5's for Christmas!

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