Saw a flyin' saucer comin' out'a the sky
With my girl, was me..it was mid-July
By my Ford, it landed, one came out and gee!
From his fly hung a purple crippled peter, "Ooo-wee!"

It was a one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
(One-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter)
A one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
Shagged my girl, today

This big space alien had limbs like a tree,
I said, "Mister Purple Crippled Peter, she's with me.."
He answered that in a gibberish tone
I'm shaggin' her..you, I'll leave alone..

Then with his one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
(One-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter)
A one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
Shagged my girl, Jo-Faye..

I said, "Mister Purple Crippled Peter, what's your game?"
He said it's shaggin' human ladies, and yours has flame
Procreate's the reason I came down to earth..
I'm gonna' impregnate humans for all I'm worth

And with his one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
(One-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter)
A one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
He snatched more girls to lay..

He swung it up in a tree, on a limb, wrapped and wound
Girls began to flock, they were flockin' around
And with their eyes all glazy, they were chantin' a tune
"Wanna get some a' that..so move away, gimme room !"

They grabbed his one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled Peter
One-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter)
That one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
Shook and stretched all ways..

Was like a big Macy's Sale, on a crooked, purple, crippled Peter
Screams and begs, arms and legs..rushed that purple crippled Peter
Till that Crooked, purple crippled Peter
Disappeared from view..

Well, the sirens went off, and the police cars came
Pulled the ladies on back...too late, what a shame
His pride was so flattened out..looked like a carpet of red
He rolled it it up in a roll,..off in his saucer, he fled..

He had a one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
(One-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter)
A one-eyed, messed up, crooked, purple crippled peter
Worse than ever, now..

Worse than ever, now..