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Song Parodies -> "Girl Gave Birth at 5, True"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell On You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Girl Gave Birth at 5, True"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Lina Medina story. She had EPP (Extreme Precocious Puberty) by age 3 and was menstruating. Her sex organs came in fast and by age 4 she developed breasts. At first, the family of 10 in Peru thought she had a tumor and sought a Shaman who failed (convinced it was a demon). The girl was taken to a hospital for an exorcism, but there it was discovered she was pregnant! She gave birth at 5 years, 7 months, and 21 days by C-section as her pelvis was too small. She had a boy who lived for 40 years (1979). No one knows how she became pregnant, but her father was arrested for rape with no evidence and released. Lina has never revealed the father because she probably doesn't remember. She still lives in Lima, Peru and has never accepted money for her story or scientific experimentation. Her case is unique and scientifically backed by much evidence.
Girl gave birth at 5, true
1939

Lived in poor village in Peru
Father and mother
7 sisters and brothers!

At 5 she didn't understand it
Belly growing round
Thought she had a tumor
But not what the Shaman found

Girl gave birth at 5, true
1939
Boy survived

EPP doomed
Woman so young grew
Got pregnant, who knew?
But a baby was on the way
C-section in hospital care
Made it successfully
No one knows by who to this day!

A mystery
Girl gave birth at 5, true
1939
(EPP uniquely, apparently)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Candy - August 10, 2018 - Report this comment
This definitely redefines "babies having babies!"
"Fun" Facts - August 10, 2018 - Report this comment
In fact, Lina Medina had her first menstrual period when she was a few MONTHS old. As to her father, he swore up and down he wasn't her rapist, and it's likely he was telling the truth, since in addition to the total lack of evidence, he never got charged with any more sex crimes. Like certain other kinds of criminals, child molesters tend to be creatures of habit with a strong tendency for recidivism, so he probably would have gotten in trouble for SOMETHING eventually if he'd been the culprit.
Rob Arndt - August 11, 2018 - Report this comment
I believe the same. It's also a shame that her son was told that his mother was his sister until age 10. What a shock that would have been! Her mom would have been 15, almost 16!
OMG, A SMF - August 13, 2018 - Report this comment
Man, this is crazy! Lina's dad isn't named Donald by any chance, is he?
Charles - August 24, 2018 - Report this comment
who are the idiots who keep giving this nonsense a 5
Uiop - August 26, 2018 - Report this comment
They are part of a huge contingent here at Amiright who idolize Screaming Jay Hawkins -- without question the most underappreciated artist in the.history of pop music. Even.after 1400 parodies of his.one hit, we cant get enough. MORE, please.
Yuuuuge - August 27, 2018 - Report this comment
It's not that huge.

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