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Song Parodies -> "Churchill's Plan: Hitler's Choo-Choo"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Churchill's Plan: Hitler's Choo-Choo"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Little-known is Churchill's plan in 1944 to attack Hitler's train "Brandenburg" with a squadron of Mosquitos from FHQ Adlerhorst to Berlin. The plan was Operation Kettle and would involve the Mosquitos attacking the length of the armored train to penetrate the flak screen while a single Mosquito would race up front to attack the engine boiler with two salvos of 150mm (6") rockets to bring it to a halt. Another Mosquito would hit Hitler's compartment with a 4000 lb cookie destroying the train if it could get past the heavy flak of 16x 20mm guns @ 800 rpm and two 37mm guns. As it was the plan got scrapped and Hitler made it to Berlin. Hitler used planes, trains, and automobiles in intervals to fool intelligence services of the Allies. His voice was recorded on the magnetophone so that copies could broadcast all over the Reich to confuse listeners as to where he really was. His Mercedes G 770 was heavily armored, had bullet proof glass, and turbo superchargers to reach 100 mph despite the heavy weight of the three axel car. His Ju-52, Fw-200 Condor, and Ju-290 aircraft had drop down ejection seats! And his bunkers had multiple escape tunnels. Churchill failed.
Churchill's plan: Hitler's Choo-Choo
Didn't work out fine

Mosquitos to use
Attack the Brandenburg
Sounded a bit absurd

Churchill demanded it
But it had to be found
FHQ Adlerhorst, of course
But destination moved around

Churchill's plan: Hitler's Choo-Choo
Ran overtime
Was declined

Route to choose
Assets to use
Flak screen, bad news
Entire route armed and prepared
Difficult through the country
Forest of trees, train speed
Not sure Hitler would be there

Operation Kettle freeze
Churchill's plan: Hitler's Choo-Choo
Ran out of time
(Hitler in Berlin January '45 with ease)
The Brandenburg was moved several times until captured by US forces in Southern Germany. The armored flak sections were destroyed, but the remaining cars were sent to the US and returned in 1977. It was briefly used by West German officials and then scrapped.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Patrick - April 03, 2017 - Report this comment
Didn't Hitler have a train called "America"?
Rob Arndt - April 03, 2017 - Report this comment
Same train "Amerika" was renamed "Brandenburg" on January 31, 1943. Hitler also had a DRG high-speed streamlined train held in reserve:
Rob Arndt - April 03, 2017 - Report this comment
A video of Brandenburg:

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