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Song Parodies -> "YO! Please Don't Blind Me, Broh!"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"YO! Please Don't Blind Me, Broh!"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The SDS Z-RO is a new cop blinding device that claims to scramble the ocular fluid in the eyes for 10-15 minutes. It is touted as a non-lethal weapon safer than flash bangs, tasers, and pepper spray. Although the company says it makes tactical gear and is located in Reno, Nevada... there is no company by that name there, no record of SDS for tac gear either. Many believe this is a cover for the Pentagon's 1033 Program to arm Police under HASSLE (Hyper Aggressive Street Sweeper Law Enforcement) formed after the rioting in Ferguson, Missouri.
YO! Please don't blind me, Broh!
Light's outta line

Claimed a non-lethal
Forced compliance
Against defiance

Response to Ferguson anarchists
Z-RO takes a target down
Scrambles ocular fluids
"Safer than a taser"... HOW???
(Good for takin' down shades of black and brown)

YO! Please don't blind me, Broh!
That light's outta line
WAY outta line , Motherf-cker...

Obstructs view
Vision screwed
An abuse
MILSWAT weapon
And they don't care
'Bout liability
From 1033 Program

Non-lethal, really?
YO! Please don't blind me, Broh!
WAY outta line
(Death and damage like the other three???)
https://img.rt.com/files/news/2d/86/00/00/zro-nonlethal-weapon-blinds-targets.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

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User Comments

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Patrick - August 31, 2015 - Report this comment
I have heard of light-ray weapons that cause permanent blindness. Likewise sound intensifiers and heat rays. The days of the mass urban riot will be replaced with guerrilla style hit and run attacks. Wonder if you could make a shield using some sort of mirror.
Rob Arndt - August 31, 2015 - Report this comment
Yeah, various armies and AFs use blinding lasers and dazzlers, and so does certain MILSWAT police and jail corrections personnel. Civilian is for crowd control while military is to blind tanks, helos, aircraft, and enemy personnel. The V-RO is odd because it seems more of a military designed weapon than any tac gear accessory. Police all over the US are angry over Ferguson and other Black demonstrations, so this is part of their plan to take back control using high tech. The other weapons you mention Patrick are area denial weapons, sonic and microwave used in Somalia, both Gulf Wars, and in Afghanistan. It was the Italians who first used blinding lasers as "non-lethals" and experimental microwave weapons used over distance in Iraq may be part of what turned into Gulf War Sickness; either that, or burning Iraqi armor hit with DU rounds. Hard to say...
Rob Arndt - August 31, 2015 - Report this comment
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/73/PHASR_Rifle.jpg/440px-PHASR_Rifle.jpg

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