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Song Parodies -> "Lost Howell Torpedo"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Lost Howell Torpedo"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

A 19th century Howell Automotive Torpedo has been discovered by USN bottlenose dolphins off the San Diego coast. It was manufactured by a RI company from 1870-1889 and was the US Navy's first self-propelled torpedo which was made of brass and was 11 ft long. It was driven by a 132-lb flywheel spun to 10,000 rpm before launch above water or from a tube. It had a range of 400 yds and speed of 25 kts. Only one exists in a museum, but now there will be two. The torp was detected in USN dolphin training exercises in the ocean off Coronado where the object was discovered by accident. Very sophistictaed for the time, the relic will be refurbished and put on display in the future. Apparently, this one was USN No.24...
Lost Howell torpedo
dolphin find

In ocean off Coronado
Mine inspectin’
Dolphin detectin’

Bottlenose had found it
Was snoopin’ around
Made from 1870
Howell torp, brass object, was still sound

[Naval weapon now museum bound]

Lost Howell torpedo
Was dolphin find
Shape? Prime!

It was crude
Short-range too
Dropped or tube
Speed of 25 knots
But it was rare
Production, 50
Is oft forgot…

[Lost fish now caught]

1-4-3
Lost Howell torpedo
Was dolphin find
(Part of US naval history)



http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ai2egZ8NjNo/Tjq2Cbjo1pI/AAAAAAAAAX4/gSAjselR_CI/s1600/howell.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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AP - May 20, 2013 - Report this comment
I think this is the first non-U boat parody you've ever written out of hundreds of these Hawkins rewrites. Nice to know that you at least like some of your own nation's historical arsenal. The Germans didn't invent everything you know! I believe the US had the first crude submarine with the Turtle and later a Confederate sub CSS Hunley. Germans were rather late getting into the sub game at the turn of the 20th century! But then added diesel engines and improved on everyone else's contributions to dominate from the First World War until the end of the Second.
Patrick - May 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Makes you wonder what other archaeological treasures are still waiting to be found on the ocean floor. I just visited the Air Force museum in Nebraska last week. SR-71, B-36, and a rare B-45 among the many historic planes. The place definitely casts a "spell".

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