"I Enjoy Being A Churl

A “snarl in a suit”** I’ve been called,
Many say that I make them hurl
But slurs carom like taws pin-balled
I enjoy being a churl!

A browbeating big-mouth bully,
Like “Big Daddy” as played by Burl,
I am, and I say truthfully:
I enjoy being a churl!

Unlike many Veeps that you could mention
Who focused upon their pro tem’s bench
My main job’s to draw pundit’s attention
While my boss goes to work on the world with a monkey wrench.

I’m strictly a three-P VP:
I’m “Pugnacity’s Perfect Pearl,”
But my one “kryptonite” is TP,
You’ll feel joy when you apply it to a churl like me.

My hatred of queers is steely
But since my daughter loves a girl
I double my standards freely.
I enjoy being a churl!

I love swapping weights of taxes
So my pals who’ve grown rich in “erl”
Watch theirs wane while poor folks’ waxes
I enjoy being a churl!

I love baiting Liberals, and when they
Won’t bite I am left a little blue.
My heart triples size when I’m called “Grinch” … Hey
If you say you’re Who from Whoville I’ll get you!

I’m strictly a three-P VP:
I’m “Pugnacity’s Perfect Pearl,”
But my one “kryptonite” is TP,
You’ll feel joy when you apply it to a churl like me.