Mrs. Lesbian, you hold my heart
In your tiny hand, though queer thou art
Like a bottle of Triminagin®
How my love for you's good medicine
Summon the courts and get a divorce

Mrs. Lesbian, amend your ways
When you live in sin, there's hell to pay
It won't matter if you're Methodist
Or a devout cunnilingalist
When tongues of fire, come lickin round you

{instrumental interlude}

Oh, please hear my ode
And heed the penile code

Mrs. Lesbian, come back today
Please try me agin, and this time stay
I know darling, I'm insensitive
But hetero's how we're meant to live
The Great I Am, knows my heart's torn in two