Out in the old west lived a man called El Gasso
He was a cowboy of flatulence fame
Not any good with a gun or a lasso,
But when cuttin' cheese, he was deadly of aim

El had a gal and her name was Klosepina
She loved him much, but not so much his smell
Wore a nose clasp, dancing in the cantina
Bling bling, explaining her name very well

One night a bad guy named White Bart comes in
Orders horseradish and gi---ii--ii-ii-in
Brash and asserting, he's blatantly flirting
With El's gal, Klosepina, such act is a sin

Then-- all-- at--once,
Swingin' doors swing to the open position
And there stands El Gasso, a hush fills the room
Chairs tumble back as the crowd forms a gauntlet
Fearing his weapon is going to boom..

El Gasso flexes, he's wound up and wired
Pumps in a wicked corned beef cabbage fart
No gun is unholstered, but a blast has been fired
Gasping for air, on the floor lay White Bart..

Though he survives, Bart just isn't the same
Hand on his nose, and wild eye----iii---iii---eyed
Chugs whiskey, a gallon...and jumps on his stallion
On the horse backwards, away he does ride..
Just as fast as he can,
Far away from El Gasso
Seeking some place where the fresh air will flow..

Klosepina smiles and say, "El, I don't care if
He doesn't ever ride back here, again."
The town is so grateful, they name him the sheriff,
To clean out a gang called "The Lavender Ten"

El saddles up and away he does go
Riding all day in the dar--arr--arr--ark
Wishing his hat was just four sizes smaller
But, intent on the mission, he now must embark..
And--at-- last--here--he
Is at the cave where the outlaws are hiding
For such a battle, he first must prepare
Having brought with him one dozen chalupas
He munches ten with a couple to spare

Now in the cave, he meets five "Lav's" with rifles
Off to one side, he encounters five more
Though badly outnumbered, not bothered by trifles,
His ten chalupas should even the score..

He aims his booty, all set for the fight
Engaging his Gatling repea---eee---ee--ee--eet
Seven go down and the last three surrender
Tied to their saddles, the victory is sweet..

Hard--ride--two--days,
Arriving in town he is cheered as a hero
Takes praise in stride with a straw he can chew
Stays on as sheriff, and marries Klosepina
Dies of gastritis at age ninety two..

The town bears his name.. they erect him a statue
Tourists go, "Phew" when the wrong way winds blow
He stands bent over, and not looking at you,
A southwestern legend, The Great El Gasso...
.....A southwestern legend, The Great El Gasso...