"A Passel"

Here in this song one finds nestled in passels
back-to-back dactyls, an odd metric form
from which a song spoof is wrestled with hassles
‘cause it departs from the iambic norm.

Note, tho’, with trochees each odd line is ended
that for each quatrain its A-rhymes define,
and how to even lines odd beats are pended
which in like manner its B-rhymes design.

Ev’ry third stanza’s like this one, syncoped,
trailed by verse-glia unrhymed –
poetic thrashing
that sets my teeth gnashing;
for I prefer assonant verse smoothly timed.

So, continuing …

“Why,” one might ask, “would one even attempt it?
Why tackle such a pasticher’s mare’s nest?”
My answer’s “Why would a gamer exempt it?
Toughies I think show a reacher’s wares best.”

Plus, Marty Robbins’s song nimbly narrates
quite a nice story (long-windedly, true,
but the up-shot of that is space to spare waits
clever tale-tellers who’d tersely tell two.)

Now, my own gantlet I dare to pick up.
Tho’ half the song I’ve now spent
waxing pedantic
I hardly feel frantic --
both’ll fit in under fifty percent.

Now the first story goes:

West from the south Arizona town, Tucson,
Jojo, a loner, sought Golden State tea.

Poor Jojo never imagined he’d get a
bombshell surprise like one he received
when he met up in L. A. with “Loretta” –
he’d been by drug-dealing he/she deceived!

So Jojo purchased his ganga and fled,
answ’ring more offers, “I’ll pass …
Don’t get me wrong
But to where I belong
I must get back right away, my faux lass.”

And the next narrative’s …

Marty’s original, which tells this story:
Romeo gringo meets Juliet Mex;
Tybalt Latino feels wronged; things get gory;
R. lams before he and J. do it; next …

Here the Shakespearean parallel falters--
Mexican Juliet never fakes death,
and when our hero returns it’s assaulters’
lead, not self-murder that brings his last breath.

Both tales, I say, are birds of a quill
with diff’rences readily glossed --
If Marty’s ending
the Bard’s own be bending,
Each tells a story of love to hate lost.

And now I have but to …

Tack on a suitable two-quatrain coda
to bring a close to this lengthy up-send.
That’s irrefutable; who’s sayin’ Whoa!” to
incomplete spoof’s sayin’ “Rules I’ll upend!”

Now, in conclusion, it seems in their class, so
I gotta ask can someone tell me this:
How come this unending ditty, “El Paso”
doesn’t appear on the “Big 7” list?