(Spoken) These are the times that try people's souls. In the course of our
nation's history, Washington Interns seem to wind up in the news a LOT.
Especially when they have affairs with politicians. One particular intern
was reportedly involved in a little affair with a congressman. So pay
attention. This could happen to you!

Well, let me tell you of the story of a woman named Chandra.
Who back in early May
Went off for a ride with Rep Condit
Where she is now he won't say

Well did she ever return?
No she never returned
And her fate is still unlearned
(What a pity)
She may be off in Pakistan waiting for Condit
She's the intern that never returned

Chandra had been at Condits in DC
Hoping for a new FBI position
Until one day when she vanished
Now she is a missing person

But did she ever return?
No she never returned
And her fate is still unlearned.
(Poor Chandra)
She may be off in Hawaii, waiting for Condit
She's the intern that never returned

Now Chandra is off in lord knows where
Sipping a pina colada on the beach
While her grieving mother wonders
How did I let my daughter fall out of reach?

But did she ever return?
No she never returned
And her fate is still unlearned
(Shame and scandal)
She may be off in Bali, waiting for Condit
She's the intern that never returned

(Guitar interlude)

Now all you Americans doncha think it's a scandal
That the interns always have to pay
Keep your kids away from Washington
Cause it's not a safe place to play

Or else they'll never return
No they'll never return
And their fate will be unlearned
They will disappear like Chandra Levy
The intern that never returned.