-> "Confessions of Ex-Swimmer"
Original Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Parody Song Title:
"Confessions of Ex-Swimmer"
The Lyrics
Mine lungs, they have inhaled unhealthy dose of chlorine gas
my hair is permanently bleached and feels like autumn grass
My skin is dry and hairless and I'm quite muscular lass -
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
A pool, a pool of fifty meters
long course training is a treat,eh?
I'm bound to soon to meet St. Peter -
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
I'm fluent on counting 25s, and "hundred" means me "four"
unless its "two" and "thousand" is just starters, nothing more
I'm not ashamed being naked around my friends, it's just a bore
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
Training autumns, springs and winters -
breaststroke, backstroke, freestyle, sprinters
Butterfly and medley - stint-er
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
I'm not impressed if someone's practising five days a week
we had it twelve times weekly and three times in gym at peak
Bench pressing ninety kilos sounds to me a pretty weak
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
Five thousand meters every session
this sport, it needs a quite obsession
Counting pool tiles in succession -
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
I dislike to swim the relay - it's the passes which I fear
though I've practised them a lot and starts are thing which I can bear
Two hundred meters butterfly - now that is terror sheer
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
Butterfly, it is for loonies
Backstroke for those who are goonies
Breaststroke is for the most puniest
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
Butterflyers, they're most insane and breaststrokers are bit strange
freestylers feel bit awkward if they take the medley range
We all identify our style and others are deranged
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
We are big eaters for the dinner
we need it lest we become just thinner
Now who'll come playing "Sharks and Minnows?"
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
I'd like to grow me gills and have a pretty mermaid tail
as holding breath ten minutes does not make me yet a whale
I'm not a diver and terrestrial sports, they make me fail
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
I'm awkward as a floorball player
I'm neither a gymnastics major
In roller derby I'd be slayer -
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
Yes I like to swim, compete and get adrenaline's sweet rush
I love the smell of chlorine and the ozone's me a hush
I'm healthy as a girl can be, and love the water's flush
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
A toast, a toast for all the swimmers!
my friends, my brothers and my sisters!
It's pool where I go with my mister -
Swimming is a sport from Hell!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 3.2 | |
How Funny: | 3.2 | |
Overall Rating: | 3.2 | |
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Total Votes: | 18 |
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| 5 | | 10 | |
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