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Song Parodies -> "And He Ain't Gonna Sail No More"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle Hymn of Republic"

Original Performer:

Julia Ward Howe

Parody Song Title:

"And He Ain't Gonna Sail No More"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

He was sailing 20th latitude at wide Caribbean sea
he was novice at the oceans but he thought he'd make it clean
In horizon there were cirrus clouds as far as eye could see
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
there was hurricane a-coming but he didn't care a dime
Gory, gory what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

He trusted on his GPS, disdaining paper charts
"A magnetic compass, I won't need, nor dated sailing arts
I'm the very model of a modern sailor, and I'm smart"
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
he relied on just electronics and they are prone to die
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

He saw container ship a-passing distant, miles away
and something seemed to fall to sea, as her cargo seemed to sway
He looked at his radar and did not let it spoil day
but he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
a floating stray container is a danger passing by
Gory, gory what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

The wind began to rise and well, his yacht began to heel
but he thought he did not need to reef as speed was nice to feel
"Reefing is for sissies and I have nerves of steel"
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
as his mast began to wobble and his shrouds to wail and cry
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

The wind was growing stronger and it soon began to rain
our hero, he just push-ed on and he did yell "No pain!"
The clouds they got just thicker as they do in hurricane
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
a revolving storm in tropics is no joke and makes you cry
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

His mast began to rattle and his sails to rip and tear
the force of revolving storm was all too hard to bear
The rain wet all his gadgets and he did not have a spare
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
not respecting force of nature and to head to weather's eye
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Our hero was dismasted and the boom fell on his head
the hit was strong and nasty and it surely let him dead
His yacht did hit container which was floating straight ahead
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
to be a reckless sailor and not care where you may die
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and he ain't gonna sail no more!

The moral of the story is so childish plain to see
do respect the force nature when you head to open sea
And old fashioned sailing skills they are just very good indeed
or you won't gonna sail no more!

Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
don't repeat the errors of this song, and keep yourself warm, dry
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
or you won't gonna sail no more!

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Patrick - September 11, 2014 - Report this comment
I have heard of containers falling overboard. I think the line "gory, gory, what a helluva way to die" was used during the 1939-1945 war by US paratroopers or pilots in a parody related to the hazards of their profession. I would rather trust long-practiced skills than some Chinese made device that runs on batteries.
Susanna Viljanen - September 12, 2014 - Report this comment
*smile* I know the song "Blood on the Risers" - skydivers here in Finland tend to sing it. I shamelessly exploited it. And I just thought the story could apply to hazards of sailing as well.

Fallen off and floating containers adrift are indeed a hazard, and there are over 20,000 containers missing at world's oceans.

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