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Song Parodies -> "Iron Boot"

Original Song Title:

"Alley-Oop"

Original Performer:

Hollywood Argyles

Parody Song Title:

"Iron Boot"

Parody Written by:

Andria

The Lyrics

This parody is about the "Iron Boot", an inhumane and obviously painful device used during the Spanish Inquisition and in Spain well before that horrible event, as a means of punishment and to extract information from suspected criminals, many of whom were accused of what would now be called petty offenses or misdemeanors, during interrogations. (The Iron Boot makes one-way glass, a detective and a bare lightbulb seem pleasant.) This device was recently reconstructed along with other devices used in the past for punishment and "justice" by The History Channel for a miniseries called "Surviving History" in 2008, and that miniseries, which I own on DVD, inspired this parody. Note: "'terrogation" refers to interrogating suspects of crimes between being arrested and appearing before a judge in a court of law.
(Iron Boot, crush foot, crush leg)
(Iron Boot, lose foot, lose leg)

There's a boot made of iron bars, for punishment
(Iron Boot, invented in Spain)
‘Twas used way back a long time ago (Inquisition, yeah ‘twas, yeah ‘twas)
It din't do nothin' but a-crush your bones (Iron Boot, crush foot, lose leg)
Well this boot’s name is the Iron Boot (Sometimes called the Spanish Boot, o-oooh)
Ya got it put on when you committed crimes (For ‘terrogation, that too, that too)
And it’ll crush-ah your leg each and every time
(And your foot, that too, that too)
It got a big iron frame and a base made o’ wood
(Painful as heck, yeah ‘twas, yeah ‘twas)
Like a big bench vise on your little leg (Good for torture, but that’s it, that’s it)
(Iron Boot) ‘Twas one o’ da things that ‘twas brought back
(Iron Boot) By the “Survivin’ Hist’ry” men
(Iron Boot) Crushin’ that demonstrator’s leg
(Wonder why that man’s not dead?)

GAAAAA-AH!

He sits in a chair while the boot’s crushin’ bone
(Iron Boot, it hurts, it hurts)
Smashin’ his leg muscles, tibia and his fibula
(Iron Boot, it de-stroys, de-stroys)
The boot don't bug him cuz he volunteered
(But it hurts, it hurts)
Da man’s a hist’ry buff and a brave ol’ soul
(Iron Boot, still on, still on)

(Iron Boot) ‘Twas one o’ da things that ‘twas brought back
(Iron Boot) By the “Survivin’ Hist’ry” men
(Iron Boot) Crushin’ that demonstrator’s leg
(Wonder why that man’s not dead?)

GAAAAA-AH!

There it goes, there goes that Iron Boot
He sure is dumb, ain't he?
Like what had happened?
To his leg?
Ride, dummy, ride
Hi-yo ambulance
Ride, dummy, ride
To the E.R.
Like--hurtsville

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
love the quirky concept
Jim Rotondo - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Viciously entertaining, possibly a shoe-in for parody of the month! If so, I toed you so, would be quite a feet!
Mark Scotti - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Torturously funny!! Do they come in size 5's?
Andria - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin, thanks Jim, lol, and thanks Mark, lol again, and I believe that both the originals and the "Surviving History" reproduction were one-size-fits-all.
AFW - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
topical theme..fits right in with current news events...good job
Andria - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW.
Gari J - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
An iron boot huh, not something I want smakced up my backside. Thats supposing the poor sod in this parody could get enough leverage with it strapped on his foot. I like it
Andria - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Gari. I am laughing like an insane person at your comment, and will likely do so for some or all of the remainder of today.
Abbott Skelding - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC: Nice work, never heard the original song before this, maybe thats why the pacing seemed a little off for me, but creative work! Nice job!
Matthias - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Painful... Never heard this original song before but this was a very educational parody which is a good thing.
Mark Scotti - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC - This always comes up size 555!
Agrimorfee - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
444 from me, Andria. This wasn't a torture, buuut...There was quite a few times I couldn't follow the pacing you gave on the choral response part. I always say "research is good", but it didn't really flow well into the parody execution for me. (execution--huh-huh! :))
Christie Marie M - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC I/J) Seems like a reenactment of 'Cool Hand Luke'! A painful situation, that was. I don't have to wear an Iron Boot to figure that out, though my feet kills me wearing boots with heels. Another thing that's as painful as an Iron Boot is the 'Footbinding' technique, an Ancient Chinese culture for girls and young women: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_binding. Breaking their feet is part of the process. The idea of footbinding at the time is when the female's feet is the most 'intensely erotic' body part from what I've learned in Women's Lib. Women with bound feet also wore Lotus Shoes. Well, I've said enough! I've enjoyed this satire and this left 555 giant footprints from an Iron Boot!
Andria - July 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Abbott, Matthias, Mark, Agrimorfee (looking back, I have to agree with you on the choral response), and Christie (learned that in women's lib myself, I'd sure hate to have my feet bound)
bobpiecheese - July 04, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC-IJ) Ah, those crazy medieval people...always coming up with ingenious ways of inflicting unatural pain instead of doing more sane things like, uh, anything else. Intriguing parody here, don't see a lot of torture-related parodies (from the top of my head I can only think of two others...both of which are mine). 555!
Below Average Dave - July 04, 2010 - Report this comment
A tad hard to follow over the title parts, I forgot how much I hate this song, fun idea though, and I love weird topics like this. . .

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