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Song Parodies -> "Fugue for X-Band Horns"

Original Song Title:

"Fugue for Tinhorns"

Original Performer:

Guys and Dolls

Parody Song Title:

"Fugue for X-Band Horns"

Parody Written by:

Tom Bracewell

The Lyrics

Three National Missile Defense console operators just can't agree on which incoming nuclear missile to shoot down.
NICELY (at a C2BMC console): I see a missile track
It's aimed at Hackensack
And now my console says it's a real attack
Fight back, fight back, let's launch interceptors back
If this is a real attack, fight back, fight back.
(Benny starts singing his part here, while Nicely continues)
Fight back, fight back, let's launch interceptors back
If this is a real attack, fight back, fight back.
(Rusty starts singing his part here, while Nicely and Benny continue)
For Hackensack we'll fight
Engage with all our might
Of course it all depends if the track is right
Real good, real good, this X means the track's real good
If that means the track's real good, real good,
real good.
I say the track's right here
Now this is no bum steer
It's from a sensor system that's up in Clear
Can track, can track, this radar has got the track.
If I say the track is right - is right - is right
Hackensack. I got the track right here.
BENNY: I'm pickin' Track 19, 'cause on the Warning Line
The UEWR's got it figured at five to nine
Has chance, has chance, this UEWR says the track has chance
if UEWR says the track has chance, has chance, has chance
I know it's Track 19, the signal looks just fine
Besides the target's close to a friend of mine
Needs chase, needs chase, this track says we gotta chase
If it says the track needs chase, needs chase, needs chase.
I go for Track 19, 'Cause on the Warning line,
The UEWR's got it figured at five to nine
Has chance, has chance, this guy says the track has chance
Track 19! I got the track right here.
RUSTY CHARLIE: But look at Track 0-10, it's aimed at Washington
According to this screen in the SA room
"Big Threat" - "Big Threat"
This screen calls the track "Big Threat"
If it calls the track "Big Threat",
Big Threat, Big Threat.
And just a minute, boys.
I've got some radar noise
It says the missile cluster is just decoys
Decoys, decoys.
This screen says it's just decoys
If it says it's just decoys
decoys, decoys.
So don't shoot Track 0-10, the odds are much too thin
We'd better keep our missiles in a silo, men
According to this here in the radar screen
Track 0-10! I got the track right here!
This song is dedicated to Missile Defense National Team.

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Total Votes: 2

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