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Song Parodies -> "The Raven - Revisited"

Original Song Title:

"The Raven"

Original Performer:

Edgar Allen Poe

Parody Song Title:

"The Raven - Revisited"

Parody Written by:

EmiLoca

The Lyrics

Naturally, my 50th parody isn't even a song.
Once upon a midnight cheery, while I pondered Darwin's theory,
Over such an old and shabby volume, inducing such bore,
While I nodded, gently rocking, suddenly there came a knocking,
And this noise was very shocking, knocking me onto the floor.
''Tis some visitor,' I muttered, 'mocking my lethargic snore -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, that night, so very scary, it was in mid-February,
And I had some science homework • what a dismal, dreaded chore.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - I had forgotten to borrow
Extra credit work; what sorrow! - Sorrow for my grading score -
For the GPA and honors that depended on that score -
Useless if it hit the floor.

And my posture, so uncertain, my back aching, neck a'hurtin',
Stayed, unswaying, ‘till I could not be motionless anymore;
And right then, to still the shaking of my hands, grasped on the seating,
I sat, unmoving, repeating, ‘It's just someone at the door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance, maybe selling Dior; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my heart grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'Um,' I said, 'Excuse me, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But I was trying to study, and if your shoes aren't too muddy,
I invite you in, good buddy, though I'm really bloody poor,
And I don't need Girl Scout cookies,' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into the dark, befuddled, long I stood there, wondering, muddled,
Finally deciding I had never heard the knocks before
When the silence was unbroken, I did take that as my token,
And the only word there spoken was my own command: 'Ignore.'
This I muttered and an echo murmured back the word, 'Ignore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into my studies turning, evolution to be learning,
Pretty soon I heard a knocking somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'someone's pounding - maybe they are sick, or drowning;
Let me see then, who they might be, and this mystery explore -
I'll be quite the Good Samaritan, perhaps win an award! -
I'd be glad to quit this chore!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there flew a windblown raven, flopping flightless on the floor.
Then he stretched his wings and wobbled and into the room he hobbled;
And, with mien of moldy gravy, plopped himself down on the floor -
Perched below a broken songbird clock above my chamber door -
Stared, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this pathetic bird, beginning to turn my dim frown to grinning,
By the ruffled mess of feathers and the shabby beak it wore,
'Though you're quite the ugly mess, dumb bird' I said, 'Give me confession.
Interrupting my nice session by your pounding on the door -
Could you tell me what your name is, dreadful bird, so soiled with gore?'
Squawked the raven, 'Nevermore.'


Much I wondered at the sickly fowl to hear his speech so quickly
Though the answer was still stupid • maybe ‘cause its tongue was sore;
For I could not help presuming that no others were assuming
They would ever find a talking bird just sitting on the floor -
This was better than the cheap, electric ones bought at the store,
With a name like 'Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonesome on the dusty floor, spoke only,
That one word, over and over, and it soon became a bore.
Just like any wind-up plaything, he made no move toward escaping -
So I scarcely more than muttered 'I have dealt with pests before -
Soon, tomorrow, he will leave me, I shall prop open the door...'
Then the bird said, 'Nevermore.'

Startled at the interruption by the bird's vocal eruption,
I decided, 'It's provided words • the only ones it stores,
That was caught from conversations, fleeting words at var'ious stations
Throughout ev'ry utterance, this single word, it stuck, therefore -
I shall chase this pestilential monotone off of my floor'
Screamed the birdie, ‘Nevermore!'

Yes, the raven, (what annoyance!) in repetitive flamboyance
Kept repeating it's foul greeting, seated there beside the door;
Then, my left eye twitching madly, I did plug my ears so gladly
Thinking of what evil, thinking what this obnoxious bird of yore -
What this grinning, clumsy, thin, and threatening bird of yore
Meant in screeching 'Nevermore.'

So I sat, my ears unhearing, but the raven ever sneering
Yes, the fowl whose squeaking beak I wished would smash upon the floor;
Yes, each screech, still tolerating, each austere noise more frustrating
”What the heck is this?” I stated, waiting for that bird to leave the floor,
But his droning, violent whining just became a deaf'ning ROAR,
“Never, NEVER, NEVER MORE!”

'Stop it!' said I, 'That's annoying!', my tone slightly less than cloying,
‘How exasperating! Get this flagrant fowl off of my floor!
Yes, this feathered freak doth blare it, like a sick, demented parrot -
Now I'm twitching like a ferret • tell me truly, I implore -
Will you ever leave my study, bird? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Screams the raven, 'NEVERMORE!'

'Stop it!' said I, 'Thing of evil!” I did groan in my upheaval,
‘I have schoolwork, and you're not helping - rascal raven, speak no more!
Leave my soul to study science • fly away, end this defiance
For I'll punish noncompliance, and I'll cause you bodily gore-
Yes, I'm not afraid to do it! I'll just kick you out the door!'
Shrieked the raven, ‘NEVERMORE!!!'

So my leg went back, I aimed itPUNT! I thought I'd surely maimed it,
Till it flew into the air andTHUD • it bumped into my door,
Flew around, then hit the window, and the glass was very thin, so
Out the raven flew, it did go! (And my foot was now quite sore)
But alas! Ere it departed, it did say one thing once more


Quoth the raven, 'Excuse me, but I belong to the Greater Nebraska Animal Rights League! I hope you know, pal, it's a felony to torture wild animals under State Law! For God's sake, I was only reading the script!'

‘...Nevermore'.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 57

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 4
 2
 
 4   10
 5
 8
 
 5   45
 48
 47
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job! I can see a lot of work went into this.
Scathe - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
When I first came to AmIRight, I gazed in awe at the talent of its authors. Now an author here myself I still gaze in awe at work like this. Excellent job, EmiLoca. 555
Johnny D - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
EmiLoca = EmiGenius.
John Jenkins - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
"blare it/parrot/ferret" and other excellent rhyming and, of course, a clever conclusion. Let's hope that EmiLoca's next sabbatical between parodies comes ... nevermore.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Woah, I'll just give up on 'The Shaven' right now.
You've lifted the bar using a hydraulic crane. On a ladder. Wearing platform shoes.
2nz - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
SHOWOFF... Seriously, continuously well-written on a grander scale than those of your. Though at times when writing long the wonder lost makes readers snore, I have not seen a work that so defies what I just said before.

Hoping you write '...many more'
Michael Pacholek - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Ravin' over this one.
Stuart McArthur - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! - 555
Kristof Robertson - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
We may as well all give up now...the next Author Of The Year has made her presence known....555
Guy - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Never bored. I wouldn't give this one the bird.
Charlie Decker - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A few years ago, I could recite most of The Raven by heart. I'm much dumber now, but I'm smart enough to see how good this is and how much work went into it. Great job!
Rex - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Congrats on 50! Great job!
Ash - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Amazing!
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This belongs in a category all of its own.
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Lovely, Emi - do you read Terry Pratchett, by any chance? He's got one with a raven called "Quoth", who can speak but won't use the "N" word ;-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
How ironic, cuz he'd be allowed to use the 'N' word being black.
*ducks Leo Jay's sledgehammer*
Melhi - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That'll teach you to open the door to strangers, young lady! :)
Adagio - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A very, very pleasing read, Emi! 5's
Rick C - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) WOW!!!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) GPA above the average...
Johnny D - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
MysteryGoat - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
That was great, almost like a new world version. I didn't know we could parody poems. Makes me think I should go that route, you know, since I can't sing and all.
Scathe - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Read and commented, see above.
Jeff Reuben - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Quoting the Raven...cool!
Stuart McArthur - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM)

as I read the whole thing over (should be finished by October)

I applaud it and, moreover, see the "Wow!" I said before
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
You sneaky devil, those platform shoes have double-lined soles!
Claude Prez - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
See, the thing is, when I was your age I spent my spare time sitting around playing Atari. So by the time you're thirty, I'll be expecting a cancer cure from you, young lady. Now get crackin. Oh yeah brilliant stuff.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Aside from being a sucker for alliteration I must say that this is brilliant. My favorite line was the Dior one, caused about a 4 second laugh.
Spaff.com - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Who's the young Nebraska hottie
Whose work makes our own seem shoddy
(And makes Ralphing Luke think naughty)?
Quoth admirers: EmiLo.

...ca.
Tim Mayfield - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant is the word I use to describe... the parody that Emi posted on Amiright... etc. you get the idea. 5's
Arwen - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--brilliant, Emi...that's all I can say...=)
DISQUALIFIED FROM APRIL SOTM CONTEST 2005 - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Loser.
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
So I take it from the last comment that "The Raven" DIDN'T get disqualified from the March SOTM Contest 2005 that Emi entered it in?

phew, that was a close one, Em!.....your luck's holding
DISQUALIFIED FROM MARCH SOTM CONTEST 2005 - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
...but the author is still DQ'd from next month. Pathetic.
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
lighten up (whoever you are)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I have a slight hunch that it's the Ravenness herself, wallowing in self-pity at being such a pathetic loser.
Dominic L. - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny stuff, and it's hard to do a parody of a poem, especially one as long as this. 5's from me.
Jared - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Its okay but could use some work I mean I did not get it at all and the end could use a little tune up but it was a little bit like the original.

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