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Song Parodies -> "Why Can't the People Learn to Post"

Original Song Title:

"Why Can't the English?"

Parody Song Title:

"Why Can't the People Learn to Post"

Parody Written by:

Anakin McFly

The Lyrics

Look at them, the folks on online boards
Logging in and posting crap in hordes
By T&C we should just hit ignore;
As though that ever did a thing before.


Heavens! What a word!
This is what the cyber generation
Calls an intellectual conversation

"Oh, c'mon, I think you picked a poor example."
Did I?

Hear 'em on IMDb
Slaught'ring English happily
Pointless comments; voicing every gripe;
You sir, are you still in school?
"wat u tak me 4, a fool?"
No one could have known, the way you type.

Why can't the people teach the newbies how to post
Each paragraph they type out should be understood by most
If you typed the way she does, sir, instead of the way you do
Why, no one would care a whit 'bout you.

"I beg your pardon?"

See a Facebook page, or worse:
Watch the Youtubers converse
I'd rather bash my head against a wall
Chickens mating in a barn; just like this one!


I beg you sir, please leave her out of this;

It's lulz and pr0n that keep 'em in their places
Not their lack of life and pimply faces.

Why can't the people teach each other how to post
Of shorthand ways of talking, there's nothing much to boast
If we typed the way they do, sir, instead of the way we do
Why, we'd be all worthless losers too.

A poster's way of typing absolutely classifies him
The moment he hits 'post' he makes some other dude despise him
One lucid moment I'm afraid we'll never get
Oh why can't the people learn to set
A good example to people whose brains are all drugs-fried and perverse
The Internet can leave you close to tears
There are even places where good sense completely disappears.

(On MySpace they haven't seen it for years.)

Why can't the people make a post that doesn't reek
They teach their dogs to follow; they teach their cats to speak (LOL)
In fact every person knows
That netspeak just sounds dumb;
(Most of 'em do know this, actually, they just don't bother to not do it)
They spend decades just learning things to make them look enlightening
They upload vids on Youtube of them doing things quite frightening
But type proper English and they'll think you're gay almost;
Oh, why can't the people
Why can't the people
To post?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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John Barry - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Good question, good parody.
Phil Alexander - June 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant - I completely agree :-)

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