I'll sit down and search through the hard cover book
And yet I am forced to take another look
I never find Waldo I never find Waldo I never find Waldo

I never find that scrawny punk it's so aggravating
I'm sick of this junk so now the book's what I'm hating
And I'm in a funk because it's frustrating

Those stupid bobble hats they drive me insane
Found two thousand glasses one million canes
I never find Waldo I never find Waldo I never find Waldo

I never get to see that guy he hides like a groundhog
I never can find the wizard or the small dog
What's wrong with my mind I'm smart as a cheese log

Oh where the heck can Waldo be?
And why is this annoying me?
Can't even find all of the things he's dropped
It might be better if I just stopped

The books are keeping me up at night
Hey Martin Handford go fly a kite
I never find Waldo I never find Waldo I never find Waldo

I haven't done a thing for weeks I feel like I'm not smart
Playing hide-and-seek only without the fun part
Life's unkept since Waldo I've despised
Plus I haven't slept there's circles under my eyes
Never ends I'm living all alone
I've lost all my friends and I've unplugged my telephone
Buy these books and you'll become a drone
What a bad idea

I remember the first day that I paid
To own this waste of time
Now I'm jaded isolated unevolved from my own kind
Though he may be sneaky that Waldo's geeky
And I can't find him in these pictures
Been nine hundred days and I'd say
This book is kinda lousy
I would like to say the book is really lousy
I would like to say it's very lousy