-> "Sleep When Wed"
Original Song Title:
"Be Prepared"
Parody Song Title:
"Sleep When Wed"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
[spoken:] These evil hoardes of teens aint prudential.
Get nude more than streakers? Refrain!
Salacious, they aint livin' reverential.
They decide being virgins is lame!
[sung:] Ignore all the "how-to's of prevention?
Oh, I bet you've been taught from sex guides!
Your schools issue out contraception.
For kids act like husbands "n' wives.
It's clear from your weekend emissions,
And nights in the backs of old cars.
That you f***ing kids know positions,
Rarely thought up by hardcore porn stars!
Underwear-velcro-straps just to save time.
See more bare butts from friends than from zoos!
Your smile in the mirror,
Shows lip gonorrhea.
"Down there, it is itchin'!"
Oh, quit with yer bitchin'!
You think that's sheer torture?
Wait til you pass water!
Little sluts, you deserve what you ooze!
When you rush sex, then syphilis is spread!
Sleep when wed!
[spoken:]
"Sleep when wed? Say what?"
After wedding and ring!
"Ring? Is it licked?"
No, you tool! Monogamy living. No bimbos, fool!
"Lame idea. Who needs a ring?"
No twins? No rims? What about bananas?"
Liber-teens! It's a duty thing!
"Just use one bed?"
Right! But no flings hitched you'll be and you'll never have orgies again.
"What? Please be joking!"
[sung:]
"Why wait? Honeymoons seem so distant
When we use schooling sports time to score."
Such whores! Kid-ho-pros, concupiscent!
You take Human Studies too far!
The schoolyard is littered with hymens.
You're all such no-brained undressees!
Restrain all your lustful first-timings,
And wait 'til you're hitched de-vout-ly!
Don't be rash... you'll end up rather pimply.
Keep that pash above waist level, ma'am! ("Ohhh!")
Testicular burning? ("Weals and wounds!")
Your pessary hurting? ("Where's the lube?")
Degrading, your wiles. ("In backseats!")
You self-paedophiles! ("Friends and 'mates'!")
Like shrubs you're 'uprooted', ("Ahhh!")
Infected, polluted, ("Aargh!")
Get neutered or follow my plan! ("What?")
Under sheets for some friction? Not yet!
Sleep when wed!
"Stay unsheathed til we're hitched: germ-free bed!
Sleep when wed!!!"
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.6 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.7 | |
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Total Votes: | 19 |
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